You know, i wasn't going to write today, didn't have anything i could share but as i read the 'deathbed' post on the messageboard i felt humbled. i'm not sure of the dictionary version of humble but i surely do feel humble and i don't need the dictionary to tell me what it means. the wisdom shared was amazing and i am touched by the words shared. i may never be in that position ever, i hope that if i am i carry those words with me to give me courage. even so, i felt that they applied to me this very day. i 've already grown from those words and connected with the nurturing side of me that lay untouched (but not dormant) for many years. it's not something i treasured as i ought to have done, i kept it hidden away in a closed box, afraid to open it, embarrassed to show it. it is truly a beautiful thing to nurture and to feel able to nurture without embarrassment. i look at my daughter and thank the lord for bringing here so i can become a better person. my nurture side has been battling with my afraid side since her birth, i've been afraid to nurture her although i know i have nurtured her and still do nurture her, it felt scary, real scary - unfamiliar. Me, scared of a little wee thing, how my family would laugh. the kid that was afraid of nothing, knew no fear. how truly wrong they were, our family did not encourage nurturing, nurturing was a burden, a chore something to be removed from your life to enable you to live. for them nurture equaled pain and loss. how much they have missed. they've missed all my love, my fun, my laughter, my tears, my dreams, my talents and most of all my nurturing. i feel sad for them, only i can see how much they have missed and miss and it's huge. everyday i work on the bridge to cross this river, it's a one sided journey as they are happy as they are and have no mind to change and grow. As i share my life journey with my DD, DH and assorted pets, i'll carry this lesson with me in every step i take and be sure to remind myself that to Nurture is as precious as the air I breath, the God i beleive in and the love i have within me.