Into The Sun A Little Thunder Can Be Heard

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Into The Sun A Little Thunder Can Be Heard

23 April 2011

Posted by britchic

This evening it's thundering even though there is beautiful sunshine outside. My daughter heard it first, we were talkingon the phone and she was telling me. I pretended to here so we could chat, any reason to connect with her when i've not seen her awhile. There's a familiar ring to these words, it's the stuff written in magazines as though she's left home and living at uni or travelling. She isn't doing any of those things, not yet-maybe on 14 yrs !-, she's at her dad's and is about 6 miles away. i could be with her in 15 mins but i won't be,i'll be seeing her tomorrow. she's already got arranged what she's going to do, she's going to run up to me with her card and easter egg, the one that i bought for me !! My joy in speaking with her is bittersweet, tinged with a pain that i know i've caused. i try to make up for her no living with both mum and dad by making sure she has plenty of time with us both regularly, making sure there are no big parent shaped holes. I often wonder is it working, what can i do better, am i behaving out of spite. i've started to answer that with another question, in 10 years time will it matter. Myself and mia's dad can fight about just about anything. i think he's selfish, he thinks i'm punishing him - among many other things !! will if matter in 10 years that he's late dropping her off, no but it's inconvenient and i have to change the way i behave. I started my family later in life so maybe it's fair that i get empty nest syndrome 14 yrs earlier than i thought i would.i hope i will always have my sunny little girl in my life but i know there'll be some thunder along the way.

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Mikelle

23 April 2011 - 10:49 PM

=( That sounds so hard. How old is Mia? I have 4 year old and 2 year old little girls. It would be excruciating to not have them with me, to have to share them out. You are a good Mommy to try to give her equal time with her dad.

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