It's just a Phase

Maybe this isn't totally PC. I don't think that scrapbookers are supposed to feel this way. At least, they aren't supposed to admit that they feel this. Right? But, this is how I felt yesterday. So, I made a page. I couldn't think of a photo that would go with it, so I didn't include one.

 

Journling:

 

Sometimes, I dread Sundays. I know I’m not supposed to feel that way. I know Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, a day to recharge, a day for God and family. But I dread them, just the same.

 

Take today, for example. Trying to keep Jared quiet is impossible. He’s pulling the hair of the lady sitting in front of us. He’s chewing up goldfish crackers, spitting them out, and rubbing them into my skirt. My mom wrote about my brother in her journal, “Holding Nathan in church is somewhat akin to holding a wild bobcat, only harder.” That is a perfect description of holding Jared in church. Loud and messy and sharp little teeth and fingernails.

 

Then comes primary. By the end, I don’t know whether to scream or cry. How can my class turn a perfectly nice lesson about the Holy Ghost into an argument about whether a soldier with a machete or a shark is stronger? I wonder what they tell their parents the lesson was about?

 

After church is the mad rush to get two tired kids home and fed so they can have short naps before going to Grandma’s for dinner. Today, neither one slept. Dinner at Grandma’s is another Sunday tradition. One that I usually dread. It’s terrible to say, I know, but it’s true. My in-law’s house is perfect. It reminds me of a model home. So clean, and beautifully decorated. Why is it that at home, we can get through a meal in relative peace, but at Grandma’s, you’d think my kids have never even silverware or napkins? You’d think we just dumped some food on the floor and let them lick it off, the way they eat at Grandma’s. Today, we had chicken parmesan and pasta with marinara. Marinara sauce to be eaten at the dinning room table, with chairs upholstered in white fabric. With white carpeting beneath the table. Megan was sticking her hand in her cup, and then licking water off her fingers. She was sticking pasta to her forehead. She was pouring salt in other people’s drinks. Jared was smashing peas and throwing them. He was chewing chicken up, spitting it out, and throwing it. All while squealing at the top of his lungs.

 

I know Sunday is when we are supposed to refill our spiritual cups, but lately, I feel like my cup has been replaced with a paper one-that has been stepped on repeatedly.

 

When I was a little girl and my friends were being mean, I remember my mother saying, “It’s just a phase.” Sometimes she’d say it so often I wanted to scream, but now, with a little more perspective, I know it’s true. It’s just a phase. Phases come and go. Someday soon, I’ll sit on a pew at church and the only fight I’ll have is to keep Travis awake. And I’ll look at all the harried young mothers struggling with small children, and I’ll miss those days. And I’ll have forgotten all of this....

 

Sometimes, like tonight, I miss my mom so much. I wonder what advice she would give me. I wonder if she would let me cry or make me laugh. Wonder what Sunday dinner at her house would be like. And I’m so jealous of people who grew up with a mom. And then I remember things she said to me when I was little, and how they still apply. And it helps, somehow. This is just a phase.

 

I used:

A Collage Unleashed SNU

SS Brushed 2 paper templates EHI

SSEmbTemp HodgePodge TCS

A Little Worn Out BHA

Just the Basics EHI

SS Paper Stained EHI

SSEmbel Curled JHI

SSTools Inked Edges Neutrals 4102 CBA

SSTools Styles Curled Edges

Shadows 3201


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26 Comments



This is a really beautiful page and your journaling is outstanding. I hope getting it down in writing helped.

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Anna, I don't blame you one bit! I love the journaling, especially the part about your spiritual cup being paper and repeatedly stepped on. I'm glad you didn't add a photo, it would have distracted us from your feelings. I hope creating this brought you some relief! It really is wonderful!

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Oh Anna, you must have the clone of my class. (6 turning 7) Was a short lesson yesterday, so I gave them a tutorial on making trick paper airplanes, drew a target on the chalkboard and them them have at it. One of their mothers in the hall said they probably won't remember much of what I teach, but they'll always remember the airplanes. :)

 

Fabulous journaling. Guaranteed you're not the only one who feels that way. Love the way you did your page.

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Awwe... :bighug::bighug: ...sometimes it gets even worse as you little ones get older, take it from me I have them older & I would not say love to have them days back but I can smile knowing I lived thru them...I am sure as the sun comes up tommorrow so you will also..not much comfort but it is all I can offer. Your lo is so terriffic & & so heart felt I almost cried when I read your journaling.... try taking a break from going to grammies for dinner on sunday...you sound as if you deserve it..or maybe break tradition & have them come for dinner at your house.

 

I knw it will get better & you lo is awsum!!

 

Caren

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Oh Anna! This brought tears to my eyes! You are very brave and strong. I think every mother knows how it feels to have a young child in church. It does make you want to cry and some days just give up and not go. I felt this way yesterday when once again the person who was supposed to keep the nursery did not show up. You have a great perspective and just reading your journaling makes me feel better. I hope getting it out on paper helped you. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and know that you touched my heart in a very special way today!

 

(((Hugs)))

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WOW!! Awesome lo!! Love thejournaling!! I can totally relate to some aspects of this LO!! Great Job Anna TFS!!!

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Wonderful layout! Your journaling is so touching! I remember those days, just rest assured it will get better! =0)

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Guest K Scrappy

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This layout is wonderful in every way! I love that you didn't use a picture and all of the papers and elements you used are so nicely balanced, but mostly your journaling was so heartful and wonderful. I am so there right with you! I have a 3 year old and a 1 year and they are good boys, but sittting still AND being quiet through church seems to test their ability to be good more than anything else! Thanks for sharing!

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Oh Anna! Just know you are not alone. Your journaling is ... so sincere, sweet, ... I can't find the word but TFS. Ahhh all that white & then your happy little children... oh my. Your page is beautiful. I love the colors you chose and all the layers. I think someday you will look back at this page and smile and maybe even giggle. It does sound as if you deserve a break. TFS!

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Fantastic layout and what beautiful and REAL and RAW journaling! I love it and thank you so much for letting us know you are human!

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Beautiful LO...and a bit of honesty with ourselves is always good...nothing like facing life head-on :)

 

and yes...Mom knew best...it is a phase...:D

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this made me cry remembering the days~ mine are 10 and 13 and well on their way to being the cradle teachers themselves. I teach the 4 yr olds and they love playdough~ what better way to teach creation! I think you need to just stay home for dinner and enjoy it! feeling guilty is spoiling a bit of what you should be savoring. if someone asks how you got along,just tell them~ happy in Jesus!

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Anna,

 

Any layout that has me in tears by the end of the journaling gets 5 stars in my book! Beautiful and inspiring page!! Thank you so much for sharing it!

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PHENOMENAL!!!! Positively Phenomenal!!! Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing these feelings, these frustrations, these insights. WOW WOW WOW!!! Walter Smith said "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Thank you for opening your heart for us.

A Positive Favorite!

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Anna,

You sure nailed it on this one! Your journalling is so perfect! I feel like I am there, I'm the one with the

squirming child on my lap. Your sensitive nature shows thru and thru with the way you want your kids to

be kids and you don't want to upset your in-laws.

 

I miss my mom, too. It's been 27 yrs since I've had her with me. But I know she is watching me from some-where and I'm still trying to "make her proud". Know this, you're mom wants you to Be Happy :) Just imagine what she'd say about something "serious" to make you laugh :D Then she'll be laughing along side you :)

 

God Bless you, Anna!

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Anna, this is so touching... what a sweet memory from your mom.

 

And yes, the PHASE will pass, "this too will pass..."

The children grow up and find meaning in the message, just as you did...

 

It will past, its just a phase... Well said!

 

Today when my "little girls" (now all grown up) sit in church (still together, with their spouses, children and siblings all in a row)

they are nodding at the message (by daddy); grimacing at their little boy's antics and smiling at their sweet

little girls... Just a phase... I love it! I remember "not so long ago" when they would act up and I would snap

my fingers to get their attention... the one I was looking at was in trouble when we got home, LOL.

 

And, it was so funny, TONIGHT, I snapped my fingers at two grandsons who were talking out of turn, and both looked

at me (grandma) with a solemn "uh-oh".... Too cute.

 

Barb

 

:dancingelephant::dancingelephant:

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WOW! That's amazing journalling. Your kids will love it- imagine when THEY have kids and are going through the same thing. I wish I could tell my stories so well!

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I love this - what a great layout! I love that it is so real. It makes you realize that you're the only one . . . :)

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Anna this is a wonderful LO! Your journaling is so awesome. It brought tears to my eyes as I remember many of those days when my children were little. I too miss my mom so much.

Like you said, many of those things she said still apply. It's funny how I catch myself saying things to my children now like my mother said to me.

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this is a beautiful lo and i think the real reason why we scrap...to capture the real moments in life...the journaling is great and i love how you embellished the lo...no photo needed....

 

also i just have to add sometimes we all need to hear and see that others have a real life...not like what you see on tv.... kids, mess etc....thanks for sharing

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I'm so glad Angela revived interest in this layout from over a year ago. I am betting that some of the things you felt that day have changed and you might be coping with something different now, but its still very poignant. The last one I dealt with is now 25 years old so its been a while since I've been in those shoes, but the journaling on this is fantastic and what a great example of free writing. What a great effective layout this makes and a lot of insight into who you are.

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