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It's just a Phase


It's just a Phase

Maybe this isn't totally PC. I don't think that scrapbookers are supposed to feel this way. At least, they aren't supposed to admit that they feel this. Right? But, this is how I felt yesterday. So, I made a page. I couldn't think of a photo that would go with it, so I didn't include one.

Journling:

Sometimes, I dread Sundays. I know Iím not supposed to feel that way. I know Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, a day to recharge, a day for God and family. But I dread them, just the same.

Take today, for example. Trying to keep Jared quiet is impossible. Heís pulling the hair of the lady sitting in front of us. Heís chewing up goldfish crackers, spitting them out, and rubbing them into my skirt. My mom wrote about my brother in her journal, ďHolding Nathan in church is somewhat akin to holding a wild bobcat, only harder.Ē That is a perfect description of holding Jared in church. Loud and messy and sharp little teeth and fingernails.

Then comes primary. By the end, I donít know whether to scream or cry. How can my class turn a perfectly nice lesson about the Holy Ghost into an argument about whether a soldier with a machete or a shark is stronger? I wonder what they tell their parents the lesson was about?

After church is the mad rush to get two tired kids home and fed so they can have short naps before going to Grandmaís for dinner. Today, neither one slept. Dinner at Grandmaís is another Sunday tradition. One that I usually dread. Itís terrible to say, I know, but itís true. My in-lawís house is perfect. It reminds me of a model home. So clean, and beautifully decorated. Why is it that at home, we can get through a meal in relative peace, but at Grandmaís, youíd think my kids have never even silverware or napkins? Youíd think we just dumped some food on the floor and let them lick it off, the way they eat at Grandmaís. Today, we had chicken parmesan and pasta with marinara. Marinara sauce to be eaten at the dinning room table, with chairs upholstered in white fabric. With white carpeting beneath the table. Megan was sticking her hand in her cup, and then licking water off her fingers. She was sticking pasta to her forehead. She was pouring salt in other peopleís drinks. Jared was smashing peas and throwing them. He was chewing chicken up, spitting it out, and throwing it. All while squealing at the top of his lungs.

I know Sunday is when we are supposed to refill our spiritual cups, but lately, I feel like my cup has been replaced with a paper one-that has been stepped on repeatedly.

When I was a little girl and my friends were being mean, I remember my mother saying, ďItís just a phase.Ē Sometimes sheíd say it so often I wanted to scream, but now, with a little more perspective, I know itís true. Itís just a phase. Phases come and go. Someday soon, Iíll sit on a pew at church and the only fight Iíll have is to keep Travis awake. And Iíll look at all the harried young mothers struggling with small children, and Iíll miss those days. And Iíll have forgotten all of this....

Sometimes, like tonight, I miss my mom so much. I wonder what advice she would give me. I wonder if she would let me cry or make me laugh. Wonder what Sunday dinner at her house would be like. And Iím so jealous of people who grew up with a mom. And then I remember things she said to me when I was little, and how they still apply. And it helps, somehow. This is just a phase.

I used:
A Collage Unleashed SNU
SS Brushed 2 paper templates EHI
SSEmbTemp HodgePodge TCS
A Little Worn Out BHA
Just the Basics EHI
SS Paper Stained EHI
SSEmbel Curled JHI
SSTools Inked Edges Neutrals 4102 CBA
SSTools Styles Curled Edges
Shadows 3201



    This is a really beautiful page and your journaling is outstanding. I hope getting it down in writing helped.
    Anna, I don't blame you one bit! I love the journaling, especially the part about your spiritual cup being paper and repeatedly stepped on. I'm glad you didn't add a photo, it would have distracted us from your feelings. I hope creating this brought you some relief! It really is wonderful!
    Oh Anna, you must have the clone of my class. (6 turning 7) Was a short lesson yesterday, so I gave them a tutorial on making trick paper airplanes, drew a target on the chalkboard and them them have at it. One of their mothers in the hall said they probably won't remember much of what I teach, but they'll always remember the airplanes. :)

    Fabulous journaling. Guaranteed you're not the only one who feels that way. Love the way you did your page.
    Awwe... :bighug: :bighug: ...sometimes it gets even worse as you little ones get older, take it from me I have them older & I would not say love to have them days back but I can smile knowing I lived thru them...I am sure as the sun comes up tommorrow so you will also..not much comfort but it is all I can offer. Your lo is so terriffic & & so heart felt I almost cried when I read your journaling.... try taking a break from going to grammies for dinner on sunday...you sound as if you deserve it..or maybe break tradition & have them come for dinner at your house.

    I knw it will get better & you lo is awsum!!

    Caren
    Love this! LOs without pictures can be so hard...you have pulled it off beautifully.
    Oh Anna! This brought tears to my eyes! You are very brave and strong. I think every mother knows how it feels to have a young child in church. It does make you want to cry and some days just give up and not go. I felt this way yesterday when once again the person who was supposed to keep the nursery did not show up. You have a great perspective and just reading your journaling makes me feel better. I hope getting it out on paper helped you. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and know that you touched my heart in a very special way today!

    (((Hugs)))
    WOW!! Awesome lo!! Love thejournaling!! I can totally relate to some aspects of this LO!! Great Job Anna TFS!!!
    Wonderful layout! Your journaling is so touching! I remember those days, just rest assured it will get better! =0)
    This layout is wonderful in every way! I love that you didn't use a picture and all of the papers and elements you used are so nicely balanced, but mostly your journaling was so heartful and wonderful. I am so there right with you! I have a 3 year old and a 1 year and they are good boys, but sittting still AND being quiet through church seems to test their ability to be good more than anything else! Thanks for sharing!
    Oh Anna! Just know you are not alone. Your journaling is ... so sincere, sweet, ... I can't find the word but TFS. Ahhh all that white & then your happy little children... oh my. Your page is beautiful. I love the colors you chose and all the layers. I think someday you will look back at this page and smile and maybe even giggle. It does sound as if you deserve a break. TFS!