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varanda

Classes For Men Only

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NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY (no spouses or girlfriends!!!)
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The classes covers two long days, and topics covered in this coursework include:

[b]DAY ONE[/b]

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET PAPER ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES or What?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


[b]DAY TWO[/b]

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

THERE WILL BE NO REFUNDS FOR THOSE THAT DROP OUT

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Bwahahahahahahahaha!

(Just a couple weeks ago when I shouted "YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT LIVE HERE, WHY CAN'T YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!?!" this would have been funny to send him the next day!)

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Oh V... I need to enroll my DH just for the toilet paper roll and real men ask for directions :) Did you ever see the "Mad about you" episode where she comes out of the bathroom into the living room where her DH is sitting and obviously very irritated, she goes over to him, shows him the empty toilet paper spindle and then demonstrates how to put a fesh roll on? LOL! What IS it about changing the roll that men have such a hard time with? I just don't get it. I get SO annoyed when I go into the bathroom and see the cardboard roll with about 4 squares hanging from it still on the holder and a NEW roll parked on top of the toilet tank!! ARGH! I guess if these are the worst of my DH's inperfections then I'm doing pretty good though huh? Lot's to be thankful for and I'm sure, now that I think of it, that I've got some pretty annoying habits to my DH.

There... I feel better now :) Thanks for the laugh and the vent!

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Yea! The worst part is they got the new roll out, they just can't seem to change it!!!!! At least my DH does pick up dishes.... But the laundry basket v.s. the floor is one he needs!!!!! He will actually take his clothes off in the bathroom, then throw them on the floor NEXT to the laundry basket........???!!!!

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LOL!!! Those are hysterical!!! I lived with a guy for a couple of years and when I finally left, he told me tat one of the first things he noticed after I left was that the ice cube trays no longer magically refilled themselves and went back into the freezer. Oy, well, at least he finally got it.

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My question is, how do I prevent my 4 sons from growing into this kind of man? I'm afraid that the toilet-paper-deficiency is congenital (passed down from Dad's side of the family). They also lack the throw-empty-containers-away gene (as in, "Mom, why didn't you get more cereal?"; answer: "How was I supposed to know that the box you left on the counter--in the same place you leave it every day--was empty today??")

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That course list is woefully incomplete! There needs to be at least two more classes:

PUTTING DOWN THE TOILET SEAT
Ways to improve your relationship!

AIMING 101
Cheerios float and make wonderful targets

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