[zachsmommy]

Baby #2 is due to arrive via scheduled c-section on March 14...this baby was quite unplanned...in fact, we had pretty much decided we were done after our first because things with him have been SO challenging from the very beginning....and then, well....

At any rate, after months and months of ambivalence and anxiety about this impending birth, I find that I am still struggling somewhat with the idea of expanding our family from a cozy 3 to a never expected 4. I alternate between excitement and hope that things will be different with this baby (how can they not be with all that I've learned from Zach), but then the huge anxieties set in--I'm 38, we didn't do an amnio, so I'm a little concerned about potential health issues for baby, I'm not ready for the sleepless nites again (who am I kidding? At this point I'm so huge I don't sleep at nite anyway), I worry about having to deal with a colicky baby and the post partum depression that I suffered last time (I was suicidal for the first time in my life--scary)....

I guess I just thought that by this time in the pregnancy I would feel more ready for the baby's arrival than I do.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

[DDecker]

I will pray that all is well and goes smoothly Kim. I am sure that the minute you hold that little one for the first time all the ambivalence will be gone! DD's birthday is March 13th, I will be thinking of you!

[mjaguiar]

I am praying for strength and courage for you. As Dee said, once you see the face of your little one...all of lifes problems will wash away with the gift of your new one.

God Bless!

[anna]

Oh Kim! I'm sorry that you are struggling. I know that everyone's experiences are different, but if it makes you feel any better, going from 1 child to 2 children was much easier than going from 0 to 1. My second baby settled into a routine a lot quicker (I think out of nessesity ), slept through the night earlier, ate better...I don't know if he was just an easier baby or if I just knew what I was doing. Probably some of both, LOL. About 6 months after my first was born, DH started asking me when we would start thinking about a second. I got so mad! I couldn't even concider going through all of that again. It took me years to adjust to the idea, and I was really really nervous all through the pregnancy, wondering how I was going to manage two kids. But, it works out somehow.

I hope that things go smoothly for you!

[PBarnes]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling emotionally Kim. I would imagine part of that is the late state of pregnancy. I think maybe you are worrying too much about the negative. I would imagine that your previous history has a lot to do with that but do try to think positive. Chances are it will be a healthy baby and things will work out. Best wishes to you and your famly.

[Shari PV Mom]

Oh Kim ... I will be praying for you. Keep in mind though that you might not have a colicky baby or postpartem depression with this one. Look at Brooke Shields ... she had really bad depression after her first, like you, and didn't have a single problem with #2. As far as possible problems with the baby ... my cousin didn't start until she was 42, had her second at 44 and they are both perfectly healthy. So, the odds are in your favor honey! Try not to worry about it until you know there's something positive to worry about.

One last thing ... when I found out my second (who was planned) was a boy I was so upset! I really really wanted another girl. What in the world do I know about raising boys? Besides, all the boys in my family are pigs ... I don't want to make another one! LOL! The entire time I was pregnant after I found out I was completely dreading having a boy (and really scared of the "fountain of youth" LOL) but the very second he was born we had a special bond. He is a total Mama's boy where dd is a Daddy's Girl through and through. I guess my point is that you'll find that you'll love this baby every bit as much as the first and you won't believe how easy it is to let yourself fall completely in love again. There will be adjustments with the second but you'll find it comes easier with experience.

Please let us know how you are doing when you get a chance. And we would all love to see pictures when you can get them up.

Hugs!

[CRS]

Kim, I am so sorry! I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope you feel better as the time approaches. I know things will be tricky at first, but those days will be over before you know it. Please, feel free to vent or just talk!

[SewKitty]

Kim
You have a couple weeks yet. Everyone deals with an impending birth differently. You will be fine. As soon as you see that little one your doubts will melt away. Every child is completely different, so don't let the way your son is predict what this baby will be like. My two who are 18 months apart are completely different children. You look at them and tell right off they are brother and sister, but personalities are night and day. Even in middle and high school they had some of the same teachers and the teachers never made the connection they were related even though they look a like and they have the same last name! It was not until my hubby and I would show up for Parent Teacher conferences and they would realize, oh they are related! LOL So don't panic hon. It will be fine:-)
Hugs

[jennk]

Hey Kim! I am with you with the not ready for sleepless nights again. I am pregnant with my fourth. It was a shock to me when we got pregnant so quick. (We went through fertility stuff for the first 2). Because I am 37 I think I had convinced myself that there was no way it would happen. Well, God had other plans- just as he does for you!

I too am concerned about my age and potential health risks for the baby. I think that is normal. I keep telling myself that even though the odds for problems are higher than when we were younger, the odds are still in our favor. Don't stress too much.

I think you will find this go round a lot easier. You aren't a newbie mom anymore so all those things you used to worry about will be non-issues this time.

Just keep venting away. Just think- in a few weeks you won't be pregnant anymore!! That right there is something to rejoice about!

[KBT]

Oh Kim. I am sorry you are having these worries! I know i had a REALLY hard time when I was pregnant with my second child. I had a hard time with my DD (#1) too. I guess all I can say is that the things you are feeling and worrying about are pretty normal! Especially as you head into the home stretch so to speak. Know that you are ready, you can do it and that things will work out. I pray for the health of my baby EVERY night- if not as a montra in the middle of the night when I am awake because I worry so much- we should play cards then!

Every pregnancy is different, and I would guess that every post-partum is different. At least now you are armed with knowledge from the first time in knowing what to watch for and hopefully your health care provider can counsel you ahead of time...

In a few weeks you will have a wonderful new bundle of joy- and not too long after that you should be getting some sleep

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing!!!

[mbc72]

Kim, good for you for getting these feelings out-sometimes just venting makes things better. Also, since most of us here are Moms we can relate to your feelings of anxiety and they sound perfectly normal. Just think how much more you know this time around. There is obviously a reason you are having this baby, so just try and trust in God's plan for you and your family. I will be sending lots of prayers your way.

[JenW]

We are here for you, Kim. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. It was hard to imagine a second child. I was very nervous as well, but it seemed much easier then the first once she arrived. Pregnancy and motherhood is a challenge, but the Lord will bless you. Once you hold that little one in your arms, little things will come back to you. You'll be able to do it. And we will be here for you when ever you need us.

[zachsmommy]

Thank you thank you thank you....all so very much for your kind words and encouragement... It means more to me than I could possibly express. And normalizing these crazy feelings helps so much too....

I just need to keep remembering to BREATHE and tell myself that it will be fine....after all, I have Scrap Girls on my side.

Thanks again, everyone.

[gophergirl]

I'll pray for you too and don't beat yourself up about your feelings. There are lots of us who have run the gamut of them during and post pregnancy. I have 2 that are 20 months apart and I had some trouble the 2nd time even though I planned getting pregnant (I was 36). It was hard to have one that was ramping up for the terrible 2s and a newborn. But I kept telling myself that this too shall pass. And it does. It gets better. Make sure to take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it. There are lots of loving people here to chat with if you need us and hopefully all will go well with a happy healthy baby.

[zachsmommy]

Thank you. <3