Posted 23 February 2009 - 06:22 AM
Wow! What memories you have sparked for me. My little sister became my sister the day she was born, but God didn't bring her to live with me until she was 5. My mom told me he needed her to light the lives of a few other people first. Her parents were 15 and 17. They tried, but when she ws 6 months old they brought her to the hospital bleeding and said they just couldn't take care of her and they didn't want her to have a terrible life.
As far as the mother not wanting him... That only means a mother who can't love, it doesn't mean an innocent baby is unloveable. People who shouldn't, or don't want to be parents keep their kids every day and the children are certainly not better off. Maybe the boy was expressing his own pain.
I've known people who tell me they have 3,4,5,2 kids and one is adopted. I always ask them how their adopted child is different from the others. They look at me quizically and say they aren't any different. "So, why make the distinction? Is she any less yours?" I watch the lightbulb go off. When it comes up, which is rare, I tell people my sister was adopted on May 3rd, 1980. She was adopted that day, and from then on she has been my sister..period. She doesn't remain adopted forever. She mine.
I too punched a few neighborhood kids when they made nasty cracks about her. Obviously due to talk from their parents. As I got older I replied similarly to Cant. "Well, she was hand-picked by her parents. Yours are just stuck with you." I used to say that to my sister about myself when she was feeling badly about what a kid at school had said.
I also agree with the separation from the SIL. It seems scary and severe, but it is the best way to protect your family. It was 5 years before my father visited his own mother. She was very harsh during the first family renuion we went to in 1980. It wasn't until she lost her husband that she had some epiphany. We had 4 great years with her to erase the 5 bad.
It's such a suprise to me to hear, after all these years, and with adoption becoming so common, that there are people who feel like this. I have three girls and I don't see any dynamic between them that is any different from my sister and I. It makes you want punch someone in the head...heehee.
I will say prayers for your family and their healing. Love is so grand, why limit it to blood?