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Pregnancy Q & A And More


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#1 heart*scrappin

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Posted 10 May 2006 - 06:00 PM

Hoping to make you all smile today!!! .....    :gathering:

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

Pregnancy Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


======================================================

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle ! is empty and you bought it yesterday..


========================================================

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

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~ heart*scrappin ~

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#2 Keri S

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Posted 10 May 2006 - 06:53 PM

Oh, that was perfect... just what I needed, a good laugh. Thank you!


:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

#3 DDecker

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Posted 10 May 2006 - 07:19 PM

Oh I needed this today after spending the day with my sister (2 kid 4 &6months) and my sister-in-law, 7 mo pregnant with her first. My dd is 20 and I am exhausetd after spending the day with them. I love them all but am much more in the menopause stage.

Thanks for the laughs
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. reinhold niebuhr

#4 moopadaisy

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 03:02 PM

so funny!
Live well~Laugh often~love much~and scrap happy!
Tacie

#5 Betsy

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 05:01 PM

Very funny! :D
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