[browneyedsusan]

My son was in the Navy for 5 years and stationed in Japan. The long distance was so hard and many holidays were missed. He was on the USS Kitty Hawk and got to take her on her last ride. He was left at sea with 5000 sailors one Thanksgiving when they were denied entrance. He had many adventures but left last Oct and has been out a year. He was just ready to start school and found out on Dec 31st that he is being deployed to Afghanistan (he had joined the Reserves). He was so upset he couldn't breath for days and finally knew he had to just get everything straight (he is 25). He decided it would be okay and he can start school when he comes back. I am thankful he isn't married and won't have to leave behind a wife and little ones, just a worried mom and brother. He worked on planes and fixed their ejection seats and air conditioning and fixed the ejection seat of one pilot that went down in the ocean and had to eject. He called me at 1 in the morning so excited that he had fixed his seat and felt like he had helped save his life. He found out today he deploys in June and will get to Afghanistan in Sept and be there a year. He will be am MP (military police). Of course Mom is trying not to freak out because I am a firm believer in if you can't do anything about it then worring yourself sick won't help but I still am human. I also have alot of faith in my God that He will see me through anything, good or bad. So thank you for reading my novel. I so needed to talk about it but just didn't have the person I wanted to talk to and I was looking at the SG boards and who better to talk to but Scrappers. I was so happy to find this topic. I love Scrap Girls. Thanks for listening. Have a great week everyone! Mendy

[princessrunningfingers]

Mendy, I can share a lot of your feelings. My DH spent 26 years in the Navy and of course we went through many deployments and separations. We have a grandson-in-law who is in Iraq now, and who is considering making the military a career. I don't have any magic words to offer, just my empathy. I will include your son in my prayers for his safety.

[browneyedsusan]

Thank you for your support and kind words and prayers. I believe in prayer. Just finding this topic on the board has helped to know I can come somewhere with fellow scrappers and unload if I needed to. I was upset when he was upset but now he is okay with it for now. So it makes me feel better. I won't think to far ahead right now. Because if I do then it will be to hard. I remember boot camp and saying goodbye to a boy and he came home a man. I honestly can't say he was treated well where he was and he learned alot of hard lessons and some things I would have rather him not learn. He was glad to be out for some of those reasons and now when he found out he was back in and then where he was going it threw him for a loop but he will be okay. I love your screen name. That is too cute. My mother was a quilter and although she had arthritis she did it all by hand. Her quilts were treasures. They won prizes and they told her she quilted almost museum quality (whatever that means). She did 12 stitches to an inch. The church where I work makes quilts for cancer patients and I am sure if she was alive that she would be right there doing it with them.

[Smiles]

We have several families of deployed Servicemen, and several more whose family member has come home.
This is a safe place to vent and ask questions.
Someone on this site has been through just about anything you can imagine, or knows someone who has.
So check in when you can and let us know how and your DS are doing.
I'm pretty sure the best thing you can do to support him is be strong, and send him mail. But you already know that.
And thank him for his Service for us. My DH and I are both retired Army.

[KFiasco]

I will add you and you ds to my prayer list.

[NS_Scrapper]

I haven't been through anything like that so can't even imagine. You're in my thoughts. Hugs and prayers.

[JenniferZ]

Mendy, please thank your son for me -- for serving his country, for being brave and for doing what he thinks is right. My thoughts are with you and your family as you adjust to this very scary situation.

[MaryJo]

Mendy my son is 26 and has been in the Army since he graduated HS. He left home for Basic 2 weeks after HS graduation. So, I totally know where you are coming from and how difficult it is to deal with. You have your Faith, your God, your Family, your Friends and your Scrap Girls Family. Support is the most important thing you need and it looks like you have a pretty good support structure.
My son has been deployed 4 times and right now he's in Afghanistan and will return home in August or September. In 2005 in Iraq, 2 days after the Fallijuah (spelling is awful) his Hummer was bombed by a suicide bomber, he lost his best friend and Sgt. and he was blown off the gunners seat . His injuries healed and he continues to heal inside from it, But these men our sons, are the Very Best that the USA has to offer they are selfless, caring, committed, honorable, courageous, loyal and I could keep going on but they are men we all can be proud of! They do a thing that many can't even think of, willing to lay down their life for people they don't know just so they can live free.
I am honored to know you and to be a part of your son and his deployment. He is a seasoned solider who knows how to take care of himself and his comrades, and he will return unharmed because we all will be praying for him and holding him up and believing that angels will surround him and keep him safe!!! I'm sorry you have to go through this and I will be here for you, any time day or night. I will give you my cell # so you can call me and I mean it sincerely anytime. My nights are sleepless when my son is over there so I always welcome a distraction anytime of day or night....
I'll be praying for all of you and please tell him ThankYou from me!!! God Bless you all

[Sara Arell]

Dear Mendy,
As Joyce said, I have no magic words to offer either but after spending 26 years as a military spouse I learned that one never knows what is going to happen - Orders can come at the best of times and at the worst of times - I think one thing that I learned as a spouse is that spouses eventually learn to accept this life and just deal with what has to be but it is the Moms and Dads who have the hardest times - I didn't really learn this until my own son grew up and joined the Army and my daughter is in the Air Force and I find myself worrying all the time about them - sure - I worried when my dh was gone but I had a whole family of other wives in the same boat as I was in and we all had each other to depend upon - it made life so much easier - (if easy was even a word) and when we retired and then it was my kids it was a different story. I worried myself sick.

We have a lot of military wives here on SG and I hope you can find some solace in talking with them - also we have a lot of Military Moms here who can probably offer you some words of wisdom - but just know that we are all praying for you and thinking about you and your son. Being a Military Mom is hard - our children will always be our babies no matter how grown up they are and we never stop worrying about them.

Thinking of you......and hugs,
Sara

[AmandaFace]

coming from a military family, i totally understand. hang in there! sending thoughts your way.

[caprimom]

I will keep your family in my prayers. I have several close friends who are serving in the Middle East. One just deployed to Afghanistan so I understand your feelings of anxiety. All we can do is pray that God's will be done.

[KBT]

I am honored that your son has chosen to serve our country and thankful for you and him for it. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Ro]

May the blessings of the Lord be upon your family, in particular your son. I'm so proud of him and am thankful for his willingness to serve. Remember, you can always come here and find friendly, supportive ears. We are there for you!

[CRS]

I am a military wife and my dh's deployment is ending Jan. 15th. Although my dh is in Saudi Arabia and a relatively safe job, I can't help but worry. Coming here to SG and talking to others and scrapping have helped more then I can even tell you. I will keep your ds in my prayers and please, reach out to us when you need to.

[RosemaryS]

Praying all will be well with your son as he is serving our nation and this land of the free! Thank you so much!

[Pireps]

Mendy,

I have a niece, nephew, and many very good friends over there with your son. In fact, our base shares facilities with an Army post and half my girls's schoolmates have parents who are with your son. One of them is also an MP who has been away from his wife and daughters for two months with 10 to go. My point is that he is not alone. They form a family over there and watch out for eachother. Your feelings are just as important, maybe even more so, than a wife and kids because he's 'your' baby. Just keep sending him cookies from home (no magazines with female skin showing) and know that he is part of a world class team who above all else will take care of their 'military' family.

Your in my prayers,

Gwen

[browneyedsusan]

Thank you Gwen for your pep talk. I am not a worrying type person but at times it just gets a hold of you. I have learned that you don't have time to worry about stuff because it will overcome you. I am usually pretty good at it and I am now also. I think when I drop him off it will be very hard. I tell you...when they came to take him to boot camp that was a tough one. Dropping him off when he left for Japan was another tough one and this one will be tough. What is the communication like? How do they communicate, by email? Do you send packages like I did when he was in Japan and one the ship to an APO address. It was nice because I could fill up a flat rate box for about $10. Mendy

Pireps, on 17 January 2010 - 12:18 AM, said:

Mendy,

I have a niece, nephew, and many very good friends over there with your son. In fact, our base shares facilities with an Army post and half my girls's schoolmates have parents who are with your son. One of them is also an MP who has been away from his wife and daughters for two months with 10 to go. My point is that he is not alone. They form a family over there and watch out for eachother. Your feelings are just as important, maybe even more so, than a wife and kids because he's 'your' baby. Just keep sending him cookies from home (no magazines with female skin showing) and know that he is part of a world class team who above all else will take care of their 'military' family.

Your in my prayers,

Gwen

[Pireps]

The APO mail works the same. Depending on where he is it may take a bit longer than Japan did. Again, depending on where he goes, a few of the people I know are able to post on Facebook and make phone calls home once a week, maybe a couple of times a month. My niece does have to wear her boots to the shower tent, but she said there is a tent with computers where she can get on and send emails and photos. Give him a list of email addresses to bring with him. And if he's deployed for 12 months, he should be allowed a 'mid-tour' which means about 6 monhts in, he gets to go home for a visit. He's probaby told you all that already.

I haven't had to handle 12 months at one time. All of my friends say it stinks, but when it's all over and they get home, it seems like it went by much more quickly. I always focused myself, and my girls, on when he would return, instead of how much longer he'll be gone. And we made a list of things we wanted to do together when he got back.

You can use a trick my girlfriend passed on to all her friends... Fill a jar with 365 Hershey Kisses and eat one evry day. When the jar is empty you'll be together again:) Is that too silly? hmmm...sometime you need a little silly to counteract the sad.

A lot of my friends have emailed back to us after having found a village or school that their squad had sort of adopted. They send back a list of things they think would help the kids (balls, crayons and paper, backpacks) things like that. We put boxes together once a month or so and send them to someone's APO address. It was nice to be given a mission of our own to help the time go and made us feel more connected with the people who were deployed.

Gwen

PS They love Girl Scout cookies! I don't know what it is about them. And my husband said so many people got Peeps at Easter time they had a Peep eating contest. It took him a year to recover.

And find someone you can call when you feel sad or scared. My girlfriend's husband is deployed right now and she's had a few bad days since she left. I told her to call me anytime day or night. She hasn't made a midnight call yet. But, she said knowing she can has helped. That and keeping crazy busy:)

[browneyedsusan]

Wow thanks, you gave me such great info. No I don't think the kisses thing is silly. Good visual, kind of like counting down the days till Christmas. My sister lives with me so I will have someone to bounce stuff off of. She is there for me and I am there for her so that is nice. I have boys and she has girls. She had a hard time when she came to live with me because boys are messy and dirty..LOL We are kind of OCD but I was relaxed with my boys and enjoyed every minute of them when they were growing up. She finally decided that boys weren't so bad...not so much drama. She has two grandsons so is learning that boys stuff now. Thanks again for all your advice. Mendy

[Smiles]

Don't hestitate to post here, either, if you feel stressed.