[AggieB]

elibar, on 03 March 2010 - 07:43 AM, said:

This is a concept that I've been meditating on this week, prompted by the lectionary reading on Sunday, the sermon, and a Women's bible study that I led on Monday.

Transform Me

I wanted to get it posted before work - but I can comment more later. Any thoughts how the idea of transformation fits into your journey?

I will have to think about this some, but of course, Transformation is the whole point of Lent, isn't it? More later, I have to get to work.

[AggieB]

I get wrapped up in the gloom of Lent, but need to remember also that this is a wonderful opportunity for growth and transformation. Like I told my ESL student about voting, this special time is a privilege, not just a duty. Along about now, every year, the glow of challenge and renewal fades and I realize that the things I've chosen to do for Lent will take more effort than I have. Can you tell that I shot down several goals yesterday in one tragic dive into a huge, crackling bag of salt and grease? The prayer goals are also fading from view. Transformation is just a word, nothing is going to happen. Big sigh! I have appropriated Sherry's motto though, I will keep praying and thinking I can - choo, choo!

Today is World Day of Prayer, an ecumenical woman's movement which has a world-wide day of prayer the first Friday of March (originally the first Friday of Lent, but not all Christians celebrate Lent). This year's theme is Cameroon and the site has some gorgeous artwork (and recipes!!!). What I liked was the theme: Let Everything That Has Breath Praise God. It's kind of like a meditation: breathe in, breathe out. Feel the presence of God all around. Let go of ourselves and just praise God with every breath.

[elibar]

My dietary goals for this season have gone by the wayside as well, Aggie. I start each day with - "Today's the day I really am going to do this!" only to find by evening I've had a little bit of this, a little bit of that in mini self-indulgences.

Maybe I'm trying too hard to do it myself. Maybe it's more about me and vanity (shedding a pound or two) rather than a real discipline. More prayer and meditation (listening) needs to go into this one.

And really, I look forward to lenten season - not so much the doom and gloom (which does come into play), but the chance for some "me" time. Introspection and hashing out my relationship with God - with his help. Honestly, I'm finding some ugliness, and it's not pleasant.

Fortunately, God can make beauty from ashes...

But the refining process requires heat.

[caprimom]

It's wonderful to see how you all are supporting each other through your Lenten journey! I have been praying for you all! Your honesty about the struggle is quite refreshing!

[elibar]

This week I've been thinking about judgment and repentance. Heavy. When I'm really honest with myself, I know I need to repent.

I've got a guided "Examination of Conscience" that I go through periodically that begins like this, "My child: Think about your interior attitudes and disposition. Have your thoughts, your aspirations, your word, your actions of this day been worthy of one of my apostles? Have your problems overcome you again today? How many times have you fallen? What was the reason? Think it over well."

I always hate to do this. I would prefer to stay in the dark. "And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed." -John 3:19-20

And while I wouldn't consider myself "evil" per se, I cannot think of myself as better than anyone, even those who hit and spit on Jesus at his trial! The light makes us defensive, and we react. This is from my devotion this morning, (Reliving the Passion by Walter Wangrerin Jr), "Goodness is a spotlight. It shines on our shame, our filth, our deformities; it picks out the parts we hide from the world and even from ourselves. We will strike at that light. We'll haul it into court, discredit it, and smash it in order to put it out. We'll spit on it and belittle it."

"No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish just as they did." Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. So he said to the gardener, "See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and still I find none. Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil?' He replied, "Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig around it and put manure on it. If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.' " Luke 13.5-9

But I am loved despite it all! I will be tended to, cared for, nourished. And I will repent. And I will repent again. And again...

Jesus continues, "But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God." -John 3:21

Here is my layout. Repent

[AggieB]

Thanks for sharing this. Our sermon on this passage made a point of the time limit the gardener set. God will take care of us, but we have to be productive, too. I'm sorry, I am so dry right now and am not finding the will to pick myself back up. It is so encouraging to hear someone else's thoughts.

I live alone, I am bouncing between parishes and I have to get a ton of stuff cleaned out of the house before the fire marshal comes at the end of the month. I have been working on this terminally boring project at work and I don't see the end right now. When I get an interesting new project on my desk, I feel I have to give it to one of the interns as a learning project or one of my technicians as a treat and I keep plowing on. I get to this point and I just want to crawl back into bed. I know that I give up too easily, but I get stuck in the blahs.

I'm sorry to be so down, there are many blessings in my life and I don't have any real problems. Spring is definitely in the air. I have this fun hobby and I just got a new batch of books last night. Deep breath!

I remember a sermon when I was in college. There was a bit about how when we are most uncomfortable at prayer, that is trying to talk to us. Boy do I know that squirmy feeling. The blah and the squirm are all mixed up and filling my life right now. Sigh, no more time to whine. Thanks for listening.

By the way, I love love love your fig tree layout, Elisha.

[elibar]

Oh, Aggie - I know where you're coming from. You know you're blessed, but you're just not feeling it. Obstructions, distractions, obstacles. From within as well as from without. But you know that that refreshment will come sometime, and I can sense your hope.

But as uncomfortable as it is at the time of the squirming, the looking inside, the repentance (turning back), there is a connection between repentance and refreshment. Do you remember in Acts, just after Peter and John healed the lame man outside the temple as they were going to worship? Peter gave a speech to the onlookers. And in his speech he said:

"So now repent, and turn back, so that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshment may come from the Lord, and so that he will send you Jesus, the one he chose and appointed to be his Messiah. He must be received in heaven, you see, until the time which God spoke about through the mouth of his holy prophets from ancient days, the time when God will restore all things." Acts 3.19-21

I pray that in your squirming, Aggie, that you find the true presence of God, his light, his holiness, and refreshment, invoking the promise: "I'll refresh tired bodies; I'll restore tired souls." Jeremiah 31:25 (The Message)

[lorac]

I have been reading and enjoying all of the postings and all of the wonderful layouts that have been created. I was born and raised Catholic, although I don't follow that religion anymore, I do have my own beliefs about God and Christ and I learn more everyday from all religions. And I am certainly learning a lot from you, my fellow SG'ers.

I remember back in the late 70's when 'Jesus Christ Superstar' was released. I fell in love with Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber's opera on the events leading up to and beyond Easter Sunday. Like the thought of Jesus singing, Wright's words that Mary Magdalene sang 'He's a man, He's just a man' made me stop and think. My mother thought that it was horrible and that they were making fun of Christ. I made her sit down and listen to the whole album. Her opinion changed after hearing the album.

I think it's the perfect time to play that album, or rather CD, once again.

[caprimom]

Wonderful meditation Elisha! Thanks for sharing!

Aggie, I do hope you get to a point where you're feeling more comfortable and less squirmy. May this be a period of great improvement and learning.

Carol, I've heard of this Jesus Christ Superstar before but wasn't really sure what it was. Now, I'm intrigued!

[elibar]

Jesus Christ Superstar is one I've never seen. I missed out on it when my DH and DD went on a trip to see his family and I stayed home. They all went to see a wonderful theater production of it, I hear tell.

I've seen bits and pieces of the movie. I think I really need to see the whole thing. I've heard it can be very moving. DH wasn't crazy about it because he said it took too much artistic license with the story line (it isn't written that way in scripture).

Thanks for mentioning it Carol, and for your kind comments!

[AggieB]

Yes, my memory is that Jesus Christ, Superstar took some liberties with the original story, although some of the music is very good. Wasn't there another movie from the same time period, though? I can't for the life of me remember the name, but I remember the Jesus character with a superman shirt and he didn't actually say anything out loud. The final scene, immediately after the crucifixion (which also took some liberties - definitely a G rating), turned a corner on a busy city street and the disciples walked into a busy modern city street and mixed with the general population as the theme played. Very inspiring - we are the body of Christ, still present in the world.

[lorac]

I saw the original NY production when it was on Broadway back in the early 70's. I had bought the album when it first came out, before the play and movie, and was fascinated by the cantata. The music and lyrics were very thought provoking. Then when the play came to Broadway, my friends and I went to see it and I liked it. The movie was definitely different and I think the scene that you speak of Aggie, was from the movie. Yes, they did take liberties with the original story (that's Hollywood for you), but it's still interesting.

If you can't see either the play or the movie, get the CD and listen to the words and music. I think you will find it interesting. I'm going to look for the CD next time I'm in BestBuy.

[MLLatscrapgirls]

The other musical you are thinking of is Godspell which was also made into a movie and has a terrific soundtrack as well.

Elisha, we had that same text about the gardener and the unproductive tree this past Sunday also. But our pastor made the point that the parable is also about grace: the gardener not only asks for another year, but plans to dig around it and provide manure for it. So it is not just a question of getting a second chance - it is also about getting the help we need to change. (I think we talked above about how "repent" is literally "to turn around".)

[AggieB]

Thanks, Marylou, that was it.
That is a very good point about getting the help we need.

[BarbaraC1977]

There's artistic license in Jesus Christ Superstar, but I think it's a very moving, and very powerful rendition of the story of Jesus and his message. It rings very true to me, in part because it is a contemporary rendition, and asks some great questions. I believe you'd really find it wonderful to watch.

[AggieB]

The sermon today was on the Prodigal Son. I have always liked that one, although my point of view has changed over the years. When I first heard it, I thought the older son was absolutely in the right. As I got older, I could see his self-rightousness. I always wonder what happened to the younger son when his father died.

I remember teaching that in Catechism class one year. It was a horrible class and the director finally made the parents take turns sitting in on the class. The night of the Prodigal Son, one of the fathers was doing duty. We talked about what a lousy thing the younger son did - how in addition to being really disrespectful of the father, the whole family could have been endangered financially. I was trying to draw the kids out about the great love shown by the father and they weren't getting it. Mr. Dad was practically bouncing up and down in his chair though - he got it! He spoke of a father's love from the father's perspective and it ended up being a pretty good class, although Mr. Dad's son may have crawled under a table.

Today the sermon took the story a step farther. Based on a meditation by Henri Nouwen, the priest said that this isn't permission for any kind of behavior on our parts, but that we are the heirs of the Father and as heirs we should show the same crazy compassion as the father. I came home to a perfect opportunity. The wife of a friend is drawing him away from a ministry he's been involved with his whole adult life because she is feeling neglected. Sorry, I am not feeling very compassionate right now. I'm thinking Old Testament thoughts tonight.

But this compassion thing is a really good goal to work towards. Being single, I am perhaps at too much liberty to indulge my own feelings. I need to be forgiving even if the other person isn't.

[elibar]

Aggie, my "pastor boss" (lol - I have two pastors - one at my home congregation, and one whom I work for and is also my good friend) shared with me earlier this week about Henri Nouwen's meditation of this story and how it really had great meaning for her. Interesting that you mention it also. Forgiveness and compassion. And thank you for sharing your story. We have a similar situation in my congregation - a good friend of my husband and fellow parishioner has pulled away from his service because of pressures from his wife. I share some of the same feelings as you. It's in my prayers - both situations.

My meditations on the story have focused more on what happens to the younger son internally. Here's a layout based on what I've been thinking:

Prodigal

[AggieB]

How good to know that so many people (at least in two churches) are talking about the same themes. I love your layout. Oddly enough, this is what I chose to scrap also. It is very different, not just in style, but that I chose the moment of reconciliation. I have included the older son because he figures so largely in my mind when I read this story. I know it can become self-righteousness, as with this son, but I just sympathize with the thought - I have done everything asked of me, I've been a good girl, why don't I get any appreciation for it?

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

[AggieB]

The sermon last weekend was on The Woman Taken in Adultery. It was so vividly described, you felt like you were really there. Jesus was teaching the disciples in the temple when everyone is surprised by sudden shouting and the appearance of a large crowd, who forces the woman before Him. They think they have set the perfect trap, but He is too clever for them and turns the tables. The sermon went on to talk about Jesus waiting alone after the crowd, then the woman leaves. He is waiting for the woman's partner, who is us - noticeably absent when we should be facing our faults and asking forgiveness.

I've been thinking about this story all week, I haven't been able to get that picture of Jesus waiting alone out of my mind. I chose the moment when the crowd brings the woman before Jesus, because the suddenness and unexpectedness of it was such a compelling mental image. But another thing I've been thinking about is the weakness in all of us when it comes to the necessity of facing our faults. As a woman, I've just tended to make snide comments about the missing man in this whole story, this gives an unexpected twist to the story.

[elibar]

Aggie, thank you for posting. I was just coming here to acknowledge that I haven't posted "on time." My thought has been to have some comment in words by Wednesday. Here it is Friday, and my meditations remain private.

I'm familiar with the story you mention, but I'll admit that I haven't ever given it much thought. I'm intrigued by the twist put on how you heard it described - Jesus waiting alone. We are inserted into the story by our very absence. Very thought provoking and convicting.

You speak of the imagery, and how this story has been planted in your mind visually by the vivid description. I'm impressed how you've been able to "experience" this story by the imagery, rather than just to hear it. I have been thinking on this an discussing it among my friends. I have a pastor for whom this is important - that we have a worship experience - a real interaction with our senses.

For instance, the wine is different during lent, changed from a sweet to a dry wine. The water in the baptismal font is lower. (When he came, he had the font moved to the entrance to the sanctuary where we can see it and dip our fingers in if we wish). We have been using the Holden Evening Prayer at Wednesday evening services, and during the singing of psalm 141 (Let my prayer rise up as incense before you), a member performed a liturgical dance as she held a pot of incense - and how the scent filled my senses!

Now, some may complain that these are stunts and gimmicks - but these little things have really meant a lot to me, and others as well. If with the presence of real incense I can know that God is really hearing my prayer, then I come to know God better, and my relationship with him is deepened and more intimate. Isn't that just what God seeks for us? And I will seek more experiences where I can know God's presence in a real, tangible way. God is real, present, and working in my life. And I will use my gifts and talents to help others experience God in that way as well.

I have not yet posted a layout. The gospel lesson for me was from John 12:1-8, the story of the woman (Mary, the sister of Lazarus in this account) who poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. This is a very vivid account of one who lavishes her devotion toward Christ. How do I express my love? Certainly not like this - how ought I to express my love, and do I love God as I should? I don't know if I can express this visually. I have something in the works, but I don't know if I'll finish it. We shall see. If not, let my humble posting speak my thoughts.

The last words of our Sunday School lesson: Take time to reflect on what God has done for your. Offer a prayer of thanks.

What wondrous love is this, O loving Jesus, that you would give your life for me. Mold and shape my life in this love, that I might be a living expression of your love in everything I say and do. Amen

[elibar]

Expressing my thoughts and typing the prayer must have helped me to solidify what was in my head visually. Here is my page: Extravagant Love

[AggieB]

Elisha, these ritual you speak of are very much a part of my tradition (although I have never heard of changing the wine for Lent - interesting idea). The holy water fonts are empty during Lent and the statues gone or covered. Incense is an occasional treat (I love the smell, even if it makes me sneeze), it appears more frequently in Lent. I love the symbolism of our prayers rising with the incense. We are creatures of flesh and blood as well as spirit and if we draw the physical senses into the rituals of worship, surely our minds will follow. And they will follow more easily if the rituals are familiar. The body is occupied, leaving the spirit free to soar.

I like the symbolism of the perfume as love - powerful and wide spreading. It certainly describes God's love for us and how our love should be in return. I will have to remember this.

I can't think of the right term for it, but a lead meditation(?) can be very powerful. Having the words spoken concentrates the imagination and lets you experience the moment described. It can even work for 7th grade students, which surprised me no end. Somehow, doing this with a group is more powerful than reading to yourself. I don't know if it is that you don't need to put any concentration into reading, or something like spiritual energy of a group (where ever two or more of you are gathered...). Of course, different people will experience things differently. Some people's imaginations are particularly vivid, others need different approaches to the holy. I think if we cooperate, God will lead us to Him in the way best suited to our particular natures.

We are heading now for Holy Week and the count down to Easter. I am still the fat and lazy person I was going into Lent, but I think this has been one of the most fulfilling seasons in a very long time and I have to thank you guys. This has been a great forum for thinking about and discussing God and our relationship with him.

[Sara Arell]

Elisha, my journal has turned into much more than I thought it would - it is more like a book - I just keep writing - and having it with me all the time is great because I think of so many things when I am out and would forget them by the time I get home. Thank you for sharing your idea.

[Sherry Lynn]

elibar, on 26 March 2010 - 06:38 AM, said:

Expressing my thoughts and typing the prayer must have helped me to solidify what was in my head visually. Here is my page: Extravagant Love

Elisha, I left you some LOVE --- BEAUTIFUL!

[MLLatscrapgirls]

Our sermon text a week ago was also on the gift in John 12. Then last Wednesday, I saw an interpretive dance done on the same story. Now I come to this board and see your reflections on it as well.

An extravagant gift? yes
A humble outpouring of love and gratitude? yes
A prophetic and ministering act? yes

I don't know why this story is still catching me, or rather lingering in my mind. I think I need to let it just remain there for a bit, till I see what it is trying to tell me.