[CindyLuWho]

Gotcha Day is a familiar thing among adopted families, because it's an annual remembrance of when the parents got their child. Some people call it Family Day or something else. Some celebrate it big-time, some not at all, some inbetween. We're one of those inbetweeners. Some years I have totally forgotten until a week or two later. This year, however, I wrote it on my calendar months before and was determined to remember it so that our son will have some memories of our celebrating it when he is all grown up.

It was 12 years ago today (March 5) that I met our infant son for the first time! It was 12 years ago tomorrow that we officially got custody of him. It would be 18 months before the adoption was finalized (b/c he was a special needs child; not all special needs adoptions take that long but ours did).

He was four months old to the day when he was first placed in my arms. His birth mom laid him in my arms, and she later told me (in a letter) that she could immediately tell how much love I had for him and that she knew she'd made the right decision. He was four months old when we got him b/c he was a micro-preemie at birth--weighing only 1 pound, 6.2 ounces when he was born at 26 weeks...and only 11.5 inches long--and he was in NICU for 3.5 months. So he'd only been out of the hospital for two weeks when his birth mom placed him for adoption. She selected us...and we still keep in touch with her. She now has a son of her own, and it is precious to see how the boys resemble each other.

There are things in my life that I wonder about, but there is no question that I am sure I was meant to be Ryan's mom. So many things in my pre-mom life have been used to help this special needs child get a footing in life--from the fact that I was a patient at the same children's hospital where I take him now...to the Voice & Diction classes I loved in college, which I have used constantly to teach my deaf child to speak.

So as we celebrate Gotcha Days at our house, we are thankful for all the ways that God brought together all the people who were part of bringing Ryan into our lives!

Sharing the joy,
Cindy

[Kacie]

So neat to hear your story and the tradition of gotcha days! You definitely need to scrap a LO of this day. Happy Gotcha Day to Ryan!

Just a side note, we celebrate adoption days with our dogs

[RosemaryS]

How beautiful, I have a niece that we celebrate every day, that she's come into our family. You'll see layouts of her in here from time to time, and certainly in my gallery. This is the first time I've heard of Gotcha day sounds like something I'd say anyway! Don'tcha know How wonderful for Ryan to have been placed into your loving arms and to hear how God prepared you ahead of his birth, for his arrival. So fantastic.

[Pab]

I am one of those that don't do it at all. But we gotcha three times plus one! I am just terrible at planning ahead so we just celebrate the birthdays. I think it really may stem from the fact that the day we got our son, the first of our three adopted kids, we found out my mother_in-law had cancer and she passed five weeks later. So it was such a hard time to get through and not really get to celebrate the newness of our son properly we just kinda don't with any of our adopted. Plus we had two bio's before adopting that then they would feel left out. The plus one is a girl we took into our home but who was to old to adopt but still is one of our own now. So with all the differences its just easier to stick with the birthdays.

[AggieB]

What a great tradition. Thanks for sharing this story. I have a friend who adopted two girls from China. I will have to ask if they do anything like this.

[B&K Mom]

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. God certainly plans much further ahead than I can even imagine. I love how God equips us (when we're not even looking ) for what is ahead. I love your story. I love that you have a time to celebrate becoming a family, and that you still keep in contact with his birth Mom. I can tell that he is a cherished young man. Happy Gotcha' Day to your whole family!!!

[Smiles]

A good friend of mine when I was growing up was adopted. They called it her family birthday. (she said she only got one present, though).

It sounds like your DS is truly a blessing in your lives.

[sprinklz]

What a sweet story, Cindy! Congrats on your "gotcha" anniversary

[CindyLuWho]

ADDENDUM: At bedtime tonight, I told Ryan the story of how he and I "met" on March 5, 1998, and how I remember when he was placed in my arms the first time...and how he would only sleep soundly when my hand was resting on his tummy in his bassinet. If I moved my hand away, he would squirm and his Pulse-Ox machine would start beeping (he was on oxygen, an apnea monitor, and a pulse-oximeter machine for most of the year after we got him).

So, I said, "These are what we call our 'gotcha days' b/c these are the days when we 'got YOU'!"

He thought for a moment, then responded, "And I remember when we got Odie!" (the dog who was snuggled up to him).

Okay, well, comparing our getting the dog with when we got our son wasn't exactly the warm-fuzzy moment I expected (and hey, I LOVE this dog, don't get me wrong! I'm nuts about the dog). He was equating the largeness of OUR moment to the biggest thing that's ever happened in his life. So, all in all, I figured he understood our joy pretty well.

THANKS for all your comments. They warm my heart!

Cindy

[caprimom]

Oh your story has given me warm fuzzies for the day Cindy! You should scrap it if you haven't already! You already have journaling from this post--another reason to love SG!

[amanda]

Oh what a wonderful story, thank you for sharing with us! What an inspiration, being the mother that you were meant to be. Gotcha! Love it!

[KFiasco]

What a great story, Cindy. God bless all mothers whether or not they biologically bore their children or not. I always wanted to have a dozen children, but have none so I have to share opc (other people's children) with them. Luckily, I have nieces and nephews who are having kids now.

[BethLang]

Cindy-
I love your post on Gotcha Day.
We too, adopted. Our daughter Annabelle is from South Korea, and I will never forget every moment, every detail, every feeling, of that momemt when her foster mother placed her in our arms. She was 4 months old then. She is now 3, and we are planning our own Gotcha Day party which will be in 2 weeks. We celebrate by having korean foods, and American foods, and by displaying elements of her Korean heritage (her clothing, her hanbok, her rice formula, korean wan (money), embroidered gifts, potter, etc) for all to appreciate. We also do a candle lighting ceremony in which we express gratitude, recognition and understanding to and for the way she came into our lives, and honoring those who had made such difficult decisions along the way. She enjoys this very much and in her 3 year old mind seems to understand that she is loved by people on both sides of the globe.

Soon we will have a second daughter from South Korea and get to celebrate her Gotcah Day in a meaningful way as well!

Warm wishes for many,many Happy Gotcha Days to you and your family!

[BethLang]

Cindy-
I love your post on Gotcha Day.
We too, adopted. Our daughter Annabelle is from South Korea, and I will never forget every moment, every detail, every feeling, of that momemt when her foster mother placed her in our arms. She was 4 months old then. She is now 3, and we are planning our own Gotcha Day party which will be in 2 weeks. We celebrate by having korean foods, and American foods, and by displaying elements of her Korean heritage (her clothing, her hanbok, her rice formula, korean wan (money), embroidered gifts, potter, etc) for all to appreciate. We also do a candle lighting ceremony in which we express gratitude, recognition and understanding to and for the way she came into our lives, and honoring those who had made such difficult decisions along the way. She enjoys this very much and in her 3 year old mind seems to understand that she is loved by people on both sides of the globe.

Soon we will have a second daughter from South Korea and get to celebrate her Gotcah Day in a meaningful way as well!

Warm wishes for many,many Happy Gotcha Days to you and your family!

[Sara Arell]

I LOVE THIS! Missed it somehow before - we have an adopted son - this would be perfect for him and I know he would LOVE It! Thank you for sharing this wonderful day!

[Sara Arell]

CindyLuWho, on 06 March 2010 - 04:20 AM, said:

ADDENDUM: At bedtime tonight, I told Ryan the story of how he and I "met" on March 5, 1998, and how I remember when he was placed in my arms the first time...and how he would only sleep soundly when my hand was resting on his tummy in his bassinet. If I moved my hand away, he would squirm and his Pulse-Ox machine would start beeping (he was on oxygen, an apnea monitor, and a pulse-oximeter machine for most of the year after we got him).

So, I said, "These are what we call our 'gotcha days' b/c these are the days when we 'got YOU'!"

He thought for a moment, then responded, "And I remember when we got Odie!" (the dog who was snuggled up to him).

Okay, well, comparing our getting the dog with when we got our son wasn't exactly the warm-fuzzy moment I expected (and hey, I LOVE this dog, don't get me wrong! I'm nuts about the dog). He was equating the largeness of OUR moment to the biggest thing that's ever happened in his life. So, all in all, I figured he understood our joy pretty well.

THANKS for all your comments. They warm my heart!

Cindy

You made me laugh when I so need a good laugh - tee=hee - this is tooooo cute - but dogs are family too, aren't they?

[Zaz]

I'm glad Beth brought this thread back because I hadn't seen it before. I have two kids from Haiti and we have a low-key celebration on their Gotcha Days, too. When it was just Isaiah, he and I would have a day all to ourselves and talk about Haiti and how we all came together. Then he could pick out a cake for dessert at dinner. Now that Haiti is a nearly daily topic around here (my kids are now 5 & 7) we don't do as much on their special day. I did promise Isaiah that we would go through all his pictures and tell his story again on May 9th. I think he's mostly concerned as to whether or not he can have pie instead of cake. We like to celebrate almost anything so we'd never miss Gotcha Day. I wish we had gotten one of them in August, though, since all our celebrations are bunched up at the beginning of the year.

I think Ryan is a very lucky boy. I was a deaf ed. major in college for two years and thought that I would have a child who was deaf somehow. Instead, I taught my kids sign language as a bridge between Haitian Kreyol and English. And now my daughter has a girl who is deaf in her preschool class and they can talk a bit. I love how things work out.

Keep sharing your stories! And happy belated Gotcha Day!

~Zaz

[Sherry Lynn]

I am just seeing this too --- happy belated "gotcha days" AND thanks for another genuinely warm and fuzzy purple place story!

[CindyLuWho]

When I started this thread over two years ago, I didn't know how to "watch" the topic... so I eventually forgot to go check it for replies. Now, over two years later, I was absolutely surprised to find it while I was wandering around the forum! Ha! And I've so enjoyed all your responses.

It's been a good reminder that I need to capture this memory and scrap it!

[Nica]

I'm glad you found it again, Cindy. My third son (out of 4) is adopted. His gotcha day is Nov 10th. Just like Patsy, we don't celebrate because of all of the bio-kids. However, I retell the story often so I remember the dates and so Jackson knows how perfectly God planned this family. I'll have to scrap it myself sometime. It's too long of a story to type here. Needless to say, God knew EXACTLY what he was doing.

[CindyLuWho]

Nica, on 11 August 2012 - 08:03 AM, said:

I'm glad you found it again, Cindy. My third son (out of 4) is adopted. His gotcha day is Nov 10th. Just like Patsy, we don't celebrate because of all of the bio-kids. However, I retell the story often so I remember the dates and so Jackson knows how perfectly God planned this family. I'll have to scrap it myself sometime. It's too long of a story to type here. Needless to say, God knew EXACTLY what he was doing.

Nica... Absolutely! God knew exactly what He was doing! I have talked with many adoptive families over the years (b/c I wrote a book on coping with infertility and I interviewed a lot of folks) and the stories associated with how God weaves together adoptive families always gives me goose bumps!

Thanks for your reply - sometime I want to hear the story of how Jackson came to be your son!

Love/hugs,
Cindy

[healthyscraps]

What a great thread and amazing stories of family. Thanks for sharing.