Funnies

[Belle]

Myneighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that -2:30am?!

 

Luckily for him I was still up playing myBagpipes.

 

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Did you hear about the fat alcoholictransvestite?

 

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and beMary.

 

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Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking ofbuying a Labrador."

 

"Blow that" says Mick -"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

 

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My girlfriend thinks that I'm astalker.

 

Well, she's not exactly my girlfriendyet.

 

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I woke up last night to find the ghost ofGloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

 

At first I was afraid.......then I waspetrified.

 

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What's the difference between Iron Man andIron Woman?

 

One's a superhero and the other is aninstruction.

 

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I was explaining to my husband last nightthat when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a differentcreature.

 

He said "I would like to come back asa pig."

 

I said "You're obviously notlistening.."

 

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Doctors have just identified a food thatcan cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten.

 

It's called a wedding cake.

 

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I was in the pub with my wife last nightand I said "I love you." She said "Is that you or the beertalking?"

 

I replied "It's me talking to thebeer."

 

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The wife has been missing a week now. Policesaid to prepare for the worst.

 

So I have been down to Red Cross to getall her clothes back.

 

 

[Sara Arell]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

 

Thanks, Belle! I needed a good giggle this morning!

[princessrunningfingers]

Thanks for providing a much needed chuckle.

[MariJ]

Always great to start my day with a smile.. Thanks, Belle!