[Belle]

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.


Dear Dogs and Cats:


The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.


The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required..

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's b**t. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

• They live here. You don't.
• If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
• I like my pets a lot better than I like most people..
• To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ....

[MariJ]

Oh, Belle - I laughed outloud! Thanks for the early morning laugh!!!

[Becster]

Great start for my day! Thanks!

[Elizabeth99]

I love this! Especially the part "to all non-pet owners". I should have that list posted on my front door!

[princessrunningfingers]

Belle, this is one of your better ones. I love it.

[lorac]

Belle, this is hysterical, but oh so true. Thank you so much for the morning laugh. Having cats, I truly understand. I love the one about 'proper order for kissing'.

My cats will push the door open (sometimes I forget to close it completely), walk in, sniff the litter box (to make sure that I cleaned it), give me the ole beady eye if I haven't, and then just sit there and stare at me. Leo always wants to come in and sit on my lap and be petted.

They will take over my bed and then have the nerve to stretch out and push me because I'm too close to them. They don't get it that the middle of the bed is mine.


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[teecee]

It's great Belle! Thanks for the laugh!

[Sara Arell]

[jhochstetler]

You just put a smile on my very frustrated face! Thanks

[Nutmeg]

Love it!!

[Heatheranne]

roflol Too fun! It made me think of my pets, both past and present. I've got to print this out and post it up - perhaps very low on the frig! lol Thanks for the laugh, Belle! Have a great day! :-)

[Smiles]

too funny! I love the "low on the fridge!!!"

[Carmencitaliana]

What a hoot! Love it Belle. Animal lovers' treat! Thanks so much! I have to send this to my friends who are animal lovers as well!

[Sara Arell]

........and I'd like to add one to this list of rules that applies directly to my Siamese, Hannah!

* I will go to bed when I want to, not when you deem it time for me to crawl under the covers so you can snuggle. Just because you've been busy all day pouncing on Nikko, doesn't mean that it's bedtime!

My Hannah is so demanding - come about 10:00 every night, she waltzes into the den meowing and turning and looking at the bedroom telling us, IT IS BEDTIME, folks! She has her little routine down pat - once we are in bed, she moves from one of us to the other for her night time loving and then snuggles which which ever one she feels has loved on her the most!

She is such a bossy little thing!

[lorac]

My Tini is demanding as well. He too will come and let me know that I've spent too much time on the computer and it's time for bed. He jumps up on my desk, meows real loud and then parks himself right in front of my monitor. I chase him down and he leaves for a couple of minutes and then the routine starts all over again. And, he never gives up until I shut the computer down. This is the same routine that he follows when he wants a snack. The only difference is that he nips at my ankles, not hard, but enough to be annoying. Tini is quite the character.

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[Carmencitaliana]

Oh that's funny you two. Like reading antics of people's pets.

[aleerpsoftware]

ahaha...it is really funny....i think i will have stomach ache.. laughing out loud

[Cheri T]

Bwahahahahahaha!! LOVE it all, especially the ending ones:)

[LaLo1103]

#1 for non-pet owners is what I am always saying, "They live here. You don't."
Thanks for the laugh!

[KFiasco]

I especially liked the advice to visitors. Thanks for the laugh as usual.

Karen

[Syndee]

That is hilarious!!!