Belle Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (!!!!!!!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q.... Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (Oh my!!!) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant) Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head<br style="mso-special-character: line-break"> <br style="mso-special-character:line-break"> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Arell Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Oh, Belle, you keep me laughing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessrunningfingers Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Sooo funny, but yet sad. Thanks for sharing. I just copied it and sent it to a bunch of folks. Hope that's ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorac Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 :rofl: :rofl: I'm just glad that I won't be around when these 'braniums' are running things. I heard this one on one of the late night talk shows: Question: What does the D.C. stand for in Washington, D.C.? Answer: Da Capital. Thanks for the laughs this morning, Belle. I needed a good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnBK Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I must send a copy of this to my DD the English teacher. I'm sure she has seen similar answers...she needs to start a journal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marry Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 Really so funny..... :D You make my today so good. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiles Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 I thought the cigarette one was pretty accurate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLo1103 Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Thanks for the chuckle Belle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyjan Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Brilliant!! Thanks Belle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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