Belle Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," she knocked on wood. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." ___________________________________ TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME !!! An elderly Lady called 000 on her mobile phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the operator: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The operator said, "Stay calm An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the Officer radios in. "Disregard.." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake.." _____________________________________ I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!" Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday...." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer." _____________________________________ <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"> ROMANCE An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.. <b>"To get my teeth!" _____________________________________ <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"> </b> OLD FRIENDS Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.. I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name.. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to Know?" _____________________________________ SENIOR DRIVING As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!" "***," said Vernon , "It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!" _____________________________________ DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessrunningfingers Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Cute!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Arell Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 :giggle_bear: :giggle_bear: :giggle_bear: :going-crazy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becster Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teecee Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 These are great Belle! TFS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorac Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I was just getting ready to throw in the towel and get back in bed with the covers over my head. It has been one heck of a morning and it wasn't getting any better. That is until I saw this posting from you, Belle. Now I'm smiling and not crying anymore. So I guess I'll stay up and do some scrapping. Thanks for helping to put the smile back on my face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFiasco Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Great reading, as usual. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jode2771 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Oh what a laugh! Love them all but the last one really made me giggle :-) tfs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
podiumchick Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Very funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galinjapan Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Those are sooo funny. Thanks for the laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieGrace Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Definitely LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLo1103 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Cute! Thanks for sharing Belle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westina Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Love these Belle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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