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Reasons Not To Mess With Children


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#1 Belle

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 01:34 PM

Reasons Not To Mess With Children


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to ***?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child'swork.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'


The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
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A Sundayschool teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, sheasked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make mecry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each tobuy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she'sdead.'
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.


'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,

'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
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I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'


Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'



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#2 teecee

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:03 PM

ROFL Belle! Thanks!

#3 Becster

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:04 PM

:rofl:

Thanks Belle!!!

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#4 luckyladybug

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:08 PM

Thanks for sharing!! What a hoot! ROFL!
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#5 sarabethp

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:12 PM

These are funny!
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#6 Sara Arell

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:13 PM

Thanks for the giggles, Belle!
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#7 MariJ

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:27 PM

Priceless, Belle. THanks for the smiles and for posting. :)

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#8 lorac

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 03:08 PM

Thanks for the laughs. You always find such funny items to post. Keep them coming.

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#9 KFiasco

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 04:51 PM

You made my day Belle.

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#10 BarbaraC1977

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 05:30 PM

:roll-on-floor-laughing:

ROFL! (It took me a minute to figure out that this gif was also ROFL)

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#11 MLLatscrapgirls

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 07:05 PM

Oh, Belle, too too funny! Thank! you for sharing
A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was,the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child....
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#12 gophergirl

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 10:24 PM

Those are great! Thanks for sharing.
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#13 Florida granny

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 10:24 PM

Thanks for the good laughs!

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#14 Smiles

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:23 AM

that last one takes the cake!
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#15 satippetts

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 06:46 AM

These are great!
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#16 KatieGrace

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 10:13 PM

So funny, thanks for sharing.

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#17 LaLo1103

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 11:46 AM

I liked the first one the best!

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