Sara Arell Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 $5.37 That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change When the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket. The good news was I had successfully found my way home. Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading. P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorac Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becster Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 *wiping tears from my eyes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheri T Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Now THAT qualifies as a bad day! ROTFL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Johnson Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Sara, that is the FUNNIEST THING I've read in a long time!!! Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenna Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 That was funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRS Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Oh, how funny! At first I thought this was about you, Sara, then I realized it couldn't be. No one would mistake you for a Senior! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLo1103 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I needed a chuckle today and this did not disappoint!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Arell Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Oh, how funny! At first I thought this was about you, Sara, then I realized it couldn't be. No one would mistake you for a Senior! Heeeeheeeeee! Of course not, we all know I'm still 40! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbaraC1977 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappinchar Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Oh my. I just read it out loud to Rich. We laughed the whole time. And now Rich is reclining on the couch pulling a blanket over his legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diannecp Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 cute! thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyladybug Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 ROFL!!!! Oh my! Thanks for the good belly laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belle Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 1328829392[/url]' post='993790']Oh, how funny! At first I thought this was about you, Sara, then I realized it couldn't be. No one would mistake you for a Senior! ...or over 42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoky Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 This is the funniest thing I've read in a while! "I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo." LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Arell Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 1328829392[/url]' post='993790']Oh, how funny! At first I thought this was about you, Sara, then I realized it couldn't be. No one would mistake you for a Senior! ...or over 42 :giggle_bear: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessrunningfingers Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 How cute this is. I have to remember to get DH to read it. I do remember the first time I was offered a senior discount in a fast food place. I was absolutely indignant. Now they don't ask; they just automatically give it to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieGrace Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 How cute this is. I have to remember to get DH to read it. I do remember the first time I was offered a senior discount in a fast food place. I was absolutely indignant. Now they don't ask; they just automatically give it to us. My husband was insulted the first time he was offered a senior discount but now although he's still not happy to qualify he doesn't mind the discount. My 65 year old brother runs marathons but was given special seating on the train so he wouldn't have to stand in line. He said it was kind of nice. The other "senior" moments I could do without, but I guess it's part of life and we have a lot of company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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