momentousangel Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, ! that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Just thought I'd share this that I got in an email from a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wxchic Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 LOL! Laughed through the whole thing! Even more because that is how I talk to my kids now!! ROTFLOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momentousangel Posted October 6, 2006 Author Share Posted October 6, 2006 I couldn't resist laughing the whole way through reading it either. Thought it would help make a humerous card for my mother, rofl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyB Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 HILARIOUS! I giggled the whole way through too... I sound like my mother more and more everyday and I can recall her saying a few of these phrases. Thanks for sharing Valerie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sprinklz Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 Really Cute Valerie! It's nice to have a good laugh everyday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OrianaVianey Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 LOL too funny.. I'm gonna translate it and send it to my mom hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest suezette Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.