My Auditions Tonight
Posted 10 April 2012 - 10:25 AM
I have been taking taiko classes for the past 6 months. I LOVE this instrument!! It's loud, it's physical, it works the mind & body, and it's great stress relief. Plus I enjoy having an activity that forces me to get away from the computer & my apartment, and mingle with real people
Now that our community group has been taking classes for 6 months, we have our first opportunity to audition for the full performance group. If I make it into the group, it will be a huge time commitment - they practice 8 hours a week, and have an average of 2-3 performances a month (more during the summer). If I don't make it into the group, I'll stay in the community group, which only practices 2 hours a week, and rarely have performances.
Here's the thing... I am the type of person that likes to quit when things get difficult. I like taking the easy road, and being in the community group isn't so bad after all So for the past few weeks, I have been battling with myself on whether or not to go through with the audition. I finally told my director that I would be auditioning, so there is no backing out now. Unfortunately, I also tend to make myself physically sick to my stomach when I worry/stress too much.... so I feel crummy today from anxiety.
I scrapped about it last night: taiko auditions
The audition is at 8:45 tonight (right after the group practice from 6:30-8:30). Up until today, I had no clue what the auditions would entail. Finally this morning, our director emailed us with the details. Fortunately, some of the material I have already been studying (taiko history, terminology). But there are some aspects of the audition that we have not encountered during our community classes, so I have no clue what to expect. I am terrified and nervous and don't want to make a fool of myself in front of the judges. (There will be a panel of 5-6 group members judging us)
Also, there are 3 of us auditioning... and the group only has room to take 1. One of the girls auditioning has been playing taiko for over 2 years, including some time studying in Japan!! I don't know how I am supposed to compete with her. I'll just do my best and see how things turn out.
So if you could spare a few good thoughts my way tonight, I will need all the purple power I can get
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 10:54 AM
"I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us." Anne Lamott. My blog (Unfinished Work)
Posted 10 April 2012 - 02:00 PM
My other thought was I so vividly remember being in a chat with you last Fall and you describing your Taiko class and experience and how excited and happy you were about the whole thing. I'd say - remember that - that's the best part of all! You already listed the reasons you "might" not get accepted, the reasons this instrument is so beneficial for you -- and I've experienced and felt your enthusiasm and dedication to it all. So, I'd say - go for it joyfully and with purpose -- and in your own words just do your best and see how things turn out. Sounds like it might be a disappointment not to be chosen, but it's also a win-win in that you can still participate anyway. And, in the process maybe gain a new learning experience in the whole audition experience.
Good luck! And, I'll be thinking of you tonight. Play well.. You should be proud of yourself either way...
Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:09 PM
(Yes, that is how much one of the drums costs)
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:24 PM
And who knows.. you might end up getting in because you'll feel more relaxed about it!
But even if you don't make it, you'll end up with very valuable information that will help you the next time around and your odds will dramatically increase.
People expect too much of themselves when it comes to auditioning. They put their entire future on that few minutes and attach their self-worth to the outcome and then they wonder why they get so nervous.
One time, I got so worked up about an audition that I literally had to sit down several time and breathe because I was hyperventilating (I was playing the violin). Another time, I worked myself up so much that I did terribly and stopped playing the violin for several years because of the perceived failure.
Eventually, I realized that I can't possibly know what every single situation is like and that it is okay for me to stumble a bit while I get there.
Hope it goes well for you. It sounds like a neat thing to do!
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:42 PM
(Yes, that is how much one of the drums costs)
Oh, sure! I have an extra $5000 just sitting around here, Tiza - would love to donate, but dh might wonder where our stash of $$$$$ went! It's our mad money and it's all in change we've collected over the years, but if I could, I would - good luck and Godspeed! I guess in this case I should say "break an arm" instead of "break a leg" YOU CAN DO IT! Have faith in yourself!
Posted 10 April 2012 - 06:01 PM
You'll do fine and if you don't make it you can chalk it up to good experience. Maybe I'll see one of your performances one of these days.
Posted 10 April 2012 - 07:04 PM
Please let us know what happens. We're proud of you!
Posted 10 April 2012 - 07:35 PM
I well remember performance anxiety:( For me it was singing - if I was singing in a group, or even a duet, fine. By myself, my voice would shake from nervousness.
I think you'll do marvelously! Even though it sounds like the other person is more qualified, you just never know - plus even if you don't make it in now, you'll still have tons of fun in the community group and be even better prepared for the next audition down the road, whenever that may be.
*hugs* prayers and good thoughts coming your way!
Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:14 PM
Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:23 PM
A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart. ~Author Unknown
Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:41 AM
Posted 11 April 2012 - 07:43 AM
Went to the performance group practice from 6:30-8:30. We got to join in for some of the warm-up drills, but then had to sit on the sidelines and watch the group prepare for an upcoming performance on Friday. For a while, I was fine. But the closer the clock got to 8:30, the more my heart and stomach started racing. Kari was pretty nervous too, which really surprised me. Fortunately, only about 8 of the 18 performance members stayed to watch our auditions. And I knew most of them from times they helped out in our community classes. The 5 judges sat at a folding table with judging sheets and pens, and took notes the whole time. The other members helped out with the songs, adding the backbeat and filling in parts where needed.
FORTUNATELY, Andrew had the 3 of us audition together instead of individually. We went through each of the songs twice... making us change to a different drum position each time. I completely blanked out on one of them and just couldn't remember the first few lines... but it was one we haven't done in class in over 3 months. In between songs, they would quiz us on history facts, terminology, song authors, etc. I knew most of the questions they asked me, and was able to fill in answers when Susan/Kari didn't know. Yay for me! We ended the audition with call/response drills, which we have never practiced. That was scary! One of the judges would recite a short rhythm (don don tsuku don doro kara don don), and we had to repeat it verbally over and over until you were comfortable enough to play it on the drum. I swear, they gave me the hardest lines of all of us. We did that 2 times each. I'm more of a visual learner, so I struggled.
Now.... we play the waiting game. When we left the practice center, the judges were comparing notes. We should get an answer sometime today. And really, I'm just so glad that audition is over, I don't care how it goes one way or another. None of us had a perfect audition. We all messed things up. So they could take any of us.
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