Belle Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 This is not the opinion of Belle Meyer. <b>MALE V FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.' ******************************* MALE PROCEDURE: 1... Drive up to the cash machine. 2. LOWER your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Raise window. 7. Drive off. ************************* ****** FEMALE PROCEDURE: (Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth.!!) 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Put hand brake on, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN . 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on mobile phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Hand Brake. <br style="mso-special-character:line-break"> <br style="mso-special-character:line-break"> </b> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becster Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValerieT Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Brilliant Belle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorac Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I guess I'd be more male than female in this instance. I'd have my card and wallet already out and ready to use. I don't use cell phone while I'm driving. I know my PIN by heart. I don't wear makeup. But I would have to do #7, never can quite judge the distance between window and car door. My depth perception is off and always has been. :rofl: :rofl: Loved it Belle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Arell Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 :giggle_bear: :giggle_bear: :going-crazy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teecee Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 It's great Belle - thanks for my morning laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiles Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Oh, dear - this is NOT one I'm sharing with DH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KayMitch Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 How funny........Good one Belle. Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorunswithscissors Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Too funny! TFS Belle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheri T Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Step #27 made me ROTFL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLo1103 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Sadly, this also describes me! Thanks for sharing Belle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessrunningfingers Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Funny - but in my family some of those "female" steps apply to DH also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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