Posted 01 August 2012 - 04:37 PM
I'm so sorry I haven't been on the boards. I have been drowning in depression and on doctor ordered bed rest. I have never felt so alone in all my life. And I didn't feel right about not being on the boards and then coming on and asking for prayers but I need the power of the purple prayers. So I hope you can forgive me for not being around. I have been in severe pain for 2 weeks before I left WI to come back to PA. I thought it was an injection procedure they did in their pain center in WI. The pain is so great it limits me on doing much of anything at all. Especially sleeping. It been 3 months now. When I was finally able to get back into the pain center I went to before I left PA, they started running tests right away. They put me on a good bit of bed rest. For every 2 hours up, I had to be in bed 1 hour. Plus they put me on some pretty strong drugs that made me loopy at times.The pain kept getting worse so it was more drugs, more bed rest etc. One of the tests was an MRI with and without contrast so they could really get a good idea what was going on. I got the results 1 1/2 weeks ago and they completely knocked me off my feet. I couldn't even drive right away, I was crying too much, I just sat there in the car and cried. See before I left for WI, they had told me the more weight I lose, like every 10 pounds I lose, it's gonna help my back ALOT. Well according to their scales (and mine too) I have lost 40 pounds since I went to WI and came back SO that means it should have helped my back alot.....NOT SO.....the results of the MRI blew me away. My Degenerative Disc Disease is a good bit worse, there is moderate multilevel Spondylosis, I have Spinal Stenosis,at L2-3, L3-4, L4-5 which is getting worse, I have pinched nerves at L5 and the worst is I have 3 herniated discs (which I already knew about), well one of them on the right side has ruptured and has pinched off 3 major nerves, which causes severe pain into my right hip and down my leg all the way to my ankle and doesn't let up. I have to use a cane or walker again. One of the other herniated discs is bulging and may also rupture. So I have to be extra careful. So the doctor has started me on more meds and lots of bed rest plus he is going to start a series of injections into my back and if this doesn't work, then he will do laproscopic (spelling?) surgery to remove the pieces of ruptured disc that are pinching off the nerves. Hopefully before permanent damage is done. Now I know I have alot of friends online who care and I so appreciate that. But while going through this I'm learning that I have no one around me to lean on, who cares. I knew the son I had conflicts with wouldn't be a help but I found out from the other kids that I better follow the doctors orders because if not....".there is no one who is gonna take care of you" (their words). That broke my heart. I NEVER expected it from the other kids, never. And I don't have any other family around me either. So I have never felt so alone in my entire life.....and I'm really really scared. So if you have time, could you say a prayer for me, I sure could use it. Thank you alot. God bless you!
~Di~ Photographer @ Heart