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Only Southerners........


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#1 Sara Arell

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 04:15 PM

Southerners know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
_____
Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
_____
Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
_____
Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
_____
Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
_____
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
_____
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
_____
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
_____
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
_____
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them,
you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
_____
In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine!

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#2 teecee

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 04:26 PM

LOL - I love it Sara! TFS!

#3 jenrou

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 07:39 PM

How true! I still say 'fixin' and being from Texas (also all of those things), we take our tea made unsweetened, but sweeten it ourselves. LOL

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#4 Becster

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:23 PM

I'm the only furr'ner in the family, having been born in Florida instead of West-By-God Virginia, so I can relate to all of these! All y'all are jist fixin' to have me come give y'all some sugar for making me smile tonight!

Bless your hearts!

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#5 KFiasco

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:47 PM

LOL.

Karen
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#6 princessrunningfingers

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 09:45 PM

How cute!!!! I love it. And I thought the plural of "y'all" was "all y'all". :lol: :lol:

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#7 Belle

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 11:29 PM

This is so funny. Thanks for sharing Sara.

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#8 Amanda OutsideTheBox

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 09:51 AM

Sara, as a transplant, I had to "suck my teeth" at the notion that "nobody interested in livin' up theyah" ha.
I have to add that Southerners have a great affixation for scissors as they love to "cut" on so many things... the lights, the music, the tv.
And they also looouuuve to give additional vowels/syllables/ consonants to their words that the rest of the country doesn't use: Thee ater = theater, daug= dog,keetchin windah= kitchen window, that's my caaah= that's my car, etc.
And Texas Pete has a permanent home on every table!
Oh, and I learned the hard way from one of my students never to let someone "hold" something. One asked me if they "could hold my hand puppet". I said sure- they wanted to keep it!! And that you don't "live" somewhere, you "stay", as in "Where do you stay?"
But, we love the Carolinas, both north and south...nothin' could be finah!

#9 Sara Arell

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 02:42 PM

Sara, as a transplant, I had to "suck my teeth" at the notion that "nobody interested in livin' up theyah" ha.
I have to add that Southerners have a great affixation for scissors as they love to "cut" on so many things... the lights, the music, the tv.
And they also looouuuve to give additional vowels/syllables/ consonants to their words that the rest of the country doesn't use: Thee ater = theater, daug= dog,keetchin windah= kitchen window, that's my caaah= that's my car, etc.
And Texas Pete has a permanent home on every table!
Oh, and I learned the hard way from one of my students never to let someone "hold" something. One asked me if they "could hold my hand puppet". I said sure- they wanted to keep it!! And that you don't "live" somewhere, you "stay", as in "Where do you stay?"
But, we love the Carolinas, both north and south...nothin' could be finah!



:) :) LOL Amanda! So true - Texas Pete IS definitely on every table every where and absolutely if one wants to "hold" something they generally want to keep it! I've lived in so many different places my married life that I've lost some of the things in the post, but a lot of them apply to me still!

And we do love our transplants! I'm married to one - he's from Boston - and one of the first things I bought him was a ball cap that said "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God"!!!!!!! People here still pick up on the fact that "he's not from here" occasionally but he fits in pretty well with all the rednecks here! LOL
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