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Only Southerners........


Sara Arell

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Southerners know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity

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Southerners know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick

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Southerners know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah

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Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind

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Southerners know their religions:

Bapdiss

Methdiss

Football

_____

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna

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Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler

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Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon

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Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food

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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them,

you "PITCH" them.

_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

_____

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!

_____

In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.

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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

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Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way.

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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!

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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

_____

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !

There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine!

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I'm the only furr'ner in the family, having been born in Florida instead of West-By-God Virginia, so I can relate to all of these! All y'all are jist fixin' to have me come give y'all some sugar for making me smile tonight!

 

Bless your hearts!

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Sara, as a transplant, I had to "suck my teeth" at the notion that "nobody interested in livin' up theyah" ha.

I have to add that Southerners have a great affixation for scissors as they love to "cut" on so many things... the lights, the music, the tv.

And they also looouuuve to give additional vowels/syllables/ consonants to their words that the rest of the country doesn't use: Thee ater = theater, daug= dog,keetchin windah= kitchen window, that's my caaah= that's my car, etc.

And Texas Pete has a permanent home on every table!

Oh, and I learned the hard way from one of my students never to let someone "hold" something. One asked me if they "could hold my hand puppet". I said sure- they wanted to keep it!! And that you don't "live" somewhere, you "stay", as in "Where do you stay?"

But, we love the Carolinas, both north and south...nothin' could be finah!

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Sara, as a transplant, I had to "suck my teeth" at the notion that "nobody interested in livin' up theyah" ha.

I have to add that Southerners have a great affixation for scissors as they love to "cut" on so many things... the lights, the music, the tv.

And they also looouuuve to give additional vowels/syllables/ consonants to their words that the rest of the country doesn't use: Thee ater = theater, daug= dog,keetchin windah= kitchen window, that's my caaah= that's my car, etc.

And Texas Pete has a permanent home on every table!

Oh, and I learned the hard way from one of my students never to let someone "hold" something. One asked me if they "could hold my hand puppet". I said sure- they wanted to keep it!! And that you don't "live" somewhere, you "stay", as in "Where do you stay?"

But, we love the Carolinas, both north and south...nothin' could be finah!

 

 

:) :) LOL Amanda! So true - Texas Pete IS definitely on every table every where and absolutely if one wants to "hold" something they generally want to keep it! I've lived in so many different places my married life that I've lost some of the things in the post, but a lot of them apply to me still!

 

And we do love our transplants! I'm married to one - he's from Boston - and one of the first things I bought him was a ball cap that said "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God"!!!!!!! People here still pick up on the fact that "he's not from here" occasionally but he fits in pretty well with all the rednecks here! LOL

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