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Summary Of Life

#1 User is offline   Sara Arell 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 05:03 AM

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don 't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don 't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money...
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.
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#2 User is online   Belle 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 07:36 AM

Cute and all so true.
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#3 User is offline   scrappinchar 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 07:56 AM

Cute!
:giggle_bear:
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#4 User is offline   BetC 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 08:39 AM

LOL, Sara! I spent years trying to nail jello to a tree!
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#5 User is online   ValerieT 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 09:30 AM

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#6 User is online   princessrunningfingers 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 01:54 PM

Cute. I also nailed a little jello to trees in my time.
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#7 User is offline   Sara Arell 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 05:29 PM

View Postprincessrunningfingers, on 20 August 2012 - 01:54 PM, said:

Cute. I also nailed a little jello to trees in my time.



LOL I'm STILL nailing jello to trees, Joyce! :hit-head-with-hammer:
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#8 User is offline   jenrou 

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 05:58 PM

I had many years of trying to nail jello to trees-they are mature adults and sometimes I still feel like they are teenagers. The whole thing is true! :lol:
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#9 User is offline   LenaLotta 

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 05:36 AM

I love it Sara! :rofl:
"Life is not the days that go by, but the days you remember"

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#10 User is offline   CindyLuWho 

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Posted 30 August 2012 - 08:56 PM

Great lists, Sara! Thanks for posting!

These were my faves!

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
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