[dukebballfan]

I haven't visited the forum in quite some time and feel rather selfish for doing so now, but I just have to get my feelings out somewhere as to what has been going on with me in the last month. And to also ask for your thoughts and prayers for the next few weeks.

On the evening of August 28th, my husband took me to the ER because I had been unable to eat and was having abdominal pains for about a week. After a CT scan they determined that I had a blockage in my intestines and admitted me to the hospital around midnight. The next morning a surgeon came to talk to me and told me that from the scan, the blockage could be 1 of 3 things: 1) crohns disease (which was unlikely), 2)a carcinoid tumor or 3) lymphoma, because there was a lymph node right at the blockage that was also inflamed. She informed me that I needed to have surgery that day to remove that part of my small intestines (and have a pathologist study it) and she was also going to take out them out in entirety to make sure she could feel nothing that could be other tumors.

I got through the surgery as well as possible, fast forward two days later and I was given the best news possible (out of the three options) on my birthday, that I did not have any type of cancer, but I did have Crohns disease. So kind of a bittersweet day. After being educated on the symptoms, things started to fall into place and make a lot of sense. I just wish it would have been caught and maybe I would have not had to have what my new GI doctor calls "the ultimate treatment."

Anyway, I stayed in the hospital for eight days, came home, my appetite was almost entirely back (which may not necessarily be a good thing, LOL) even managed to work last week for 12 hours. Was happy with my progress and bam! Intense abdominal pain Saturday night and I woke up Sunday morning with a lot of discharge from my incision. Back to the ER and I had an infection. Horrible procedure done while I was awake and dealing with a wound vac and it not working and having to have my wound unpacked and packed each day. I am getting ready to go home in a little while and home health services will have to visit me each day.

Out of all I have had to deal with in the past few weeks, here is my problem: I am so terrified of the unpacking and packing (and I usually have a very high tolerance for pain) I am having panic attacks. I didn't sleep last night, I sobbed, shook and it's all I can think about. The next time I have to have it done is 24 hours from now and I am already sitting here shaking, obsessing about it. It is freaking me out. I need the strength to get through the next few weeks.

We have had probably the worst year of our lives this year. We have almost lost our home, lost 2 pets and now this. Not being able to work is devastating for our family. Saying I am a nervous wreck is putting it mildly. Any prayers and well wishes you can throw my way would be appreciated.

Crystal

[teecee]

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles Crystal. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

[BarbaraC1977]

I'm so sorry about your troubles, and will keep you in prayer. Meantime, speak to your doctor about the panic attacks. There are medications to help, it's not a fault to need them, especially in these circumstances. They need to treat "all of you," not just the wound. Will be praying for you.

[diannecp]

Wow, that's a lot to deal with so suddenly, on top of everything else. Saying a prayer for you right now. And Barbara is right - talk to your dr. about the panic attacks. Anything you can do to help yourself get in a better frame of mind will go a long way towards your healing. Blessings,

[JenniferZ]

Crystal, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. PLEASE contact your doctor and tell her/him about your panic attacks and anxiety. There are many ways to help with these symptoms and the sooner they are resolved the better you will feel and the better your overall outcome will be. (My husband is a clinical psychologist who specializes in chronic pain, so I KNOW there is help for you that will be fast and effective!)

Sending positive thoughts and please keep us posted.

{hugs}

[jenrou]

Hi Crystal,

I wondered where you were and remembered because we both live in VA. I am so sorry you are having this trouble. My nephew has Crohns and has had it since he was a teen. He is now grown, but you can imagine the problems he's had.

I hope you get some relief soon. I know there are new medication that help. I certainly will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It is a relief knowing that God will not give you more than you can handle, although it doesn't seem so at the time.
You have friends here, if you need to talk, and don't feel bad about it.

Jean

[ScrapGram]

Barbara said it right - you need to talk to the doctor about your mental state or it will be worse on your physical state. You must take care of your whole self, not just your body. You came to the right place to ask for prayers. I know everyone one here will be sending lots of positive energy and prayers your way. Hang in there!

[Smiles]

Bless you, Crystal! You are dealing with a LOT! Needing medication to help with a frightening situation is not a sign of weakness; it must means you've been through too much, and that part of your brain is trying to protect you. I always take an anti-anxiety and some pain medication before my retina specialist pokes around the outside of my eye with his probe to check all the corners of my retina. It makes it tolerable. You know this is going to continue for a few days, and not treating it will just release lots of nasty stress hormones your system doesn't need. I would definitely ask for a prescription right away - before you are discharged if that is still possible.

May angels of strength and healing carry you gently through this journey.
(Gentle) hugs,

[mbc72]

Praying for you Crystal.

[Jane in N.Z]

You are certainly dealing with a lot Crystal. With panic attacks it means you are not going to deal with any of the situations well until the panic attacks are delt with so medications for a short time will be worthwhile You really need to talk to your Dr. Big hugs and prayers coming your way

[AnnBK]

What an ordeal you have endured! No wonder you are having panic attacks. The previous advice is right on...be absolutely open and honest with your care team. There's a fix, but they can't help you if they don't have all the facts. I'll be thinking of you and praying for a speedy recovery.

[AggieB]

So sorry, Crystal! I'll add my prayer that you get through this.

[LenaLotta]

I'm so sorry to hear this Crystal! You really have a lot to deal with! I really hope you'll follow the advice given, talk to your care team, there is help to get!
I'll keep you in my thoughts and wish for a speedy recovery

[Belle]

I'm so sorry to hear this Crystal! You are going through such a tough time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of hugs as well. This is the right place to say how you feel, and to just get everything off your chest. Sometimes you can't talk to loved ones or friends close to you. We are all here for you.

[Sara Arell]

Oh, Crystal, I have been wondering where you've been, sweetie! I've missed you! I am so sorry that you've been through all of this! Bless your heart! Please let your doctor know right away the anxiety this is causing for you! Their IS help for that and you certainly don't need the anxiety on top of everything else you are having to endure. Panic attacks are an awful thing and it is not at all a weakness to ask for help. Please do that right away.

Sending big hugs and I'll add you to my prayer list. What an ordeal you've been through!

[DixieLee]

Good grief Crystal! that is huge! May the Lord's presence comfort you and enable you to breathe in and out--panic attacks are horrible!! peace to you--your year has just got to get better!

[AmandaFace]

Sorry to hear all this! I hope you feel better soon and I'm adding my positive thoughts.

[LaLo1103]

Sending you positive thoughts and saying a prayer for you, Crystal. Hang in there!

[CRS]

I will keep you in my prayers and pray for strength!

[KayMitch]

Thinking of you Crystal and hope you find relief soon. Kay

[KFiasco]

I'm so sorry for all you are having to go through Crystal. I know Crohns is a horrible disease. I am praying for you and your family.

Karen

[Jo Corne]

positive thoughts coming your way. know you are thought of

[Cheri T]

No wonder you are so stressed. You and your family are in my prayers for sure, Crystal. I hope the infection heals quickly so you can continue on the road to recovery and learning to manage your Crohns disease.
*hugs*

Thoughts regarding the packing - see if another person can be with you when it is done, just to hold your hand and be a friendly/loving presence. If this isn't possible, maybe try soothing music on headphones to help distract you?

[PBarnes]

I can't add much to what the others have already said other than to tell you that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you the best and I hope you can get the Crohn's and the anxiety attacks in hand. I pray that your body heals the infection soon. Hugs to you Crystal.