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Men Are Just Happier People


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#1 Belle

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:30 AM



EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



SUCCESS

· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


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#2 ValerieT

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:53 AM

Very clever, Belle, you've brightened my morning.

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#3 MariJ

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:50 AM

Thank you Belle! I have missed your morning smiles and this one made me giggle! :D

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#4 cherryyllaann

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:56 AM

This is funny Belle and so true! Thanks for the laughs!
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#5 Sara Arell

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

I've missed your funnies too, Belle! Thanks for the giggles this morning!
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#6 teecee

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:22 AM

This is great Belle - thanks for sharing! :P

#7 ScrapGram

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:32 AM

Love this Belle and it is all so true! When our kids were little, I would come home from the grocery store and ask, "where are the girls." My DH's response was always, "I don't know, they are around here somewhere!" So the one about children really hit home for me! I still pretty much know what my kids are doing all the time and they are both married! LOL!


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#8 Cheri T

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:10 PM

Hahahahahahaha! How true many of these are! :) Thanks for the smiles this morning Belle!
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#9 Florida granny

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:26 PM

:lol: Funny, Belle! I've missed your jokes.

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