Men Are Just Happier People
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:30 AM
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:50 AM
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:56 AM
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM
Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:32 AM
Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:10 PM
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