Prayers/positive Thoughts For A Big Decision Sorry this is so long...
Posted 20 March 2013 - 08:48 AM
I have reached a place in my life where I have to make a hard decision and I would appreciate your positive thoughts and prayers. I have worked for my company for 18 years (this July) and most days I really love my job. But due to health issues, my husband and I both feel it is time for me tolook into disability benefits, which of course would require me to quit. I have had serious health issues for 10 years now and have never even considered disability, even though I have had a number of doctors over the years who assumed I was on disability benefits and not working. I just never wanted to be"one of those people" that abused the system.
A little background on myhealth:
I have had severe asthma since I was 10. Most of the time it is under control but I do get pneumonia very easily and it takes a number of weeks for me to recover. Right now, I am on week six of a leave for pneumonia. I was in the hospital for a week in February because I had double pneumonia. My husband says they almost lost me this time. I am still doing breathing treatments every four hours and get exhausted very easily. I am due to go back to work on April 1. Although my boss would never say anything to me, I can tell in her voice and emails that her patience is wearing thin regarding my return to work.
I had a stroke in 2003 at the age of 32. I lost the use of my arm, had a bit of a drag in my right leg and my speech was slurred for a while. I went to physical, occupational and speech therapy for months. The hardest part was learning how to write and type again. It would be eight months before I was able to go back to work full time(I am an analyst so all of my work is computer and/or writing).
In August of 2007, I fell down my basement stairs (old house, steep stairs, cement floor) one morning while going down to get clothes for work. I got up and brushed it off, even went to work. Over the next couple of months, I began to have some really bad back pain that ran down my right leg. I went to the doctor and found out I had two herniated discs in my lower back (L4/L5 and L5/S1). Being the foolish person I am at times, I did not want to miss work to take care of my back so I continued to go in every day. By the end of October, the pain in my back and legs were almost unbearable and I was using a cane. One Sunday morning I went to get up and literally could not move my legs. After a four hour ordeal, my husband was finally able to get me into a wheelchair that we had at the house.I missed work that Monday and Tuesday and finally agreed to go the ER onWednesday. My husband, brother-in-law and nephew had to carry me down my porchstairs in the wheelchair to get me into the car. I ended up having emergency surgery the next morning but unfortunately, a tremendous amount of nerve damagehad already been done and I lost feeling from the back of my buttocks all the way down to my feet. I went through months of rehab, learning how to walk without feeling in my feet and trying to get some of my balance back. I recovered as much as I could and went back to work in February. I ended uphaving to have a second back surgery in April of 2009 to really repair the damage that had been done (the first surgery was really just to relieve the pressure on the nerves). Rods and screws were put in my back and this time the recovery was much quicker, I only missed about 10 weeks of work.
Since my back problems, I have endured nerve pain and neuropathy in my feet and legs. I have a very high threshold for pain but when the neuropathy kicks in I cannot sleep. There have been a number of nights I literally got no sleep and had to call in to work.Unfortunately, there is no rhyme or reason to the neuropathy - I constantly have the burning pain in my feet, which I can live with, but sometimes for whatever reason the pain and burning are kicked up a few notches and I just can't sleep.
Through all of this, my boss has been very accommodating and understanding. She is a great person and a fantastic boss but she does answer to higher powerswithin the office. There have been a number of times she has mentioned my attendance - she understands my situation but the work still has to be done.She was even able to get me a laptop so I could work from home occasionally if I had an issue with my sleep. But I can tell a big difference in her attitude about my leave this time around.
I am so torn on this decision. On one hand, I do find it very difficult to work 40+ hours a week and keep up with the house, laundry and cooking. In fact, when I am working, we probably eat out three nights a week. Simply because I am too exhausted to cook and clean up the mess. My husband does cook but he also works and twice a week he works a 16 hour day. Since I have been on leave and once I got over the big hump of not being able to breathe if I did ANYTHING besides rest, the house has stayed clean, the laundry is kept up with and I cook most nights. It is almost like I have to choose between working and taking care of my family. However, it would certainly be a financial hit if I quit work and disability would only be about half my monthly bring home.
Thanks for listening; I would appreciate any prayers and positive thoughts to help me make the right decision.
Posted 20 March 2013 - 09:05 AM
Posted 20 March 2013 - 09:11 AM
Posted 20 March 2013 - 09:13 AM
Win 7, IE Explorer, PSE 11
Posted 20 March 2013 - 09:50 AM
If there is a chronic pain clinic near you, I would strongly recommend calling for an evaluation. My husband is a psychologist who specializes in chronic pain and he provides services for a chronic pain clinic here. The program has excellent success in helping people deal with chronic pain and improve their quality of life. The program combines physical therapy, biofeedback, social work, career counseling, relaxation and psychological counseling, as well as physical medicine (pain meds and medical interventions, such as surgery). It is an intensive, all-day program that lasts a number of weeks. There are not many of these clinics around, but if you are interested, try a google search or ask your PCP or surgeon to see if they know of one.
Posted 20 March 2013 - 11:27 AM
Posted 20 March 2013 - 11:31 AM
A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart. ~Author Unknown
Posted 20 March 2013 - 01:20 PM
Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:49 PM
Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:51 PM
"I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us." Anne Lamott. My blog (Unfinished Work)
Posted 21 March 2013 - 09:17 AM
It was a difficult choice to make - but he just couldn't continue with the high level of chronic pain.
Not only was his income half of what it was, but he took on the shame of walking with a cane, getting the handicapped placard, and worst of all - having to go off from whatever he was doing sometimes and lie down flat somewhere to ease the pain.
But we took the step of faith that we would be taken care of. We had to sell the house that we loved in the city that we loved, but we got to move where he could be closer to his family. We have found friends that are understanding. We have been given unconventional ways to supplement our income - rental properties, a part-time job at a church, design work - keep us both busy. Steve has found volunteer opportunities where he can serve as he lays on the bed with a laptop and a phone. We are very busy, but we are blessed with a super-flexible schedule that allows us to take care of our grandson, pick up and go somewhere almost whenever we want, and lots of time to be together (even though I don't always see it as a blessing )
I pray for you as you make this hard decision.
my products (click to view):
Posted 23 March 2013 - 05:20 PM
Posted 04 April 2013 - 09:57 PM
I do have three Master's Degrees so I will probably look for work teaching an online class. That way, I can still bring a bit of money, keep up with the house and take care of my family without so much stress. Trying to get myself healthier will be at the top of my list as well.
Thank you all for your support, I really feel like we have made the right decision.
Posted 19 April 2013 - 01:09 PM
I'll be thinking about you.
Sounds like you have a wonderful hubbie!
Visit me at my Life Inspiration blog
Visit my gallery
My designs and tutorials in the Scrap Girls Boutique