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Why I Owe My Mother


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#1 alsoarty

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 03:16 PM

1.      My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE   .  

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."  

 

2.      My mother taught me RELIGION  .  

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."     

 

3.   My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL  .  

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"     

 

4.   My mother taught me LOGIC  .     

"Because I said so, that's why."  

 

5.   My mother taught me MORE LOGIC  .  

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."  

 

6.      My mother taught me FORESIGHT  .  

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."  

 

7.      My mother taught me IRONY  .  

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."  

 

8.      My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS   .  

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."     

 

9.   My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM  .  

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"  

 

10.   My mother taught me about STAMINA  ...  

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."     

 

11.   My mother taught me about WEATHER  .  

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."  

 

12.      My mother  taught me about HYPOCRISY  .  

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"  

 

13.      My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE  .  

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."  

 

14.   My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION   .  

"Stop acting like your father!"     

 

15.   My mother taught me about ENVY  .  

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."  

 

16.      My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION  .  

"Just wait until we get home."     

 

17.   My mother taught me about RECEIVING      ..  

"You are going to get it when you get home!"  

 

18.      My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE  .  

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get  stuck that way."  

 

19.   My mother taught me ESP  .     

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"  

 

20.      My mother taught me HUMOR  .   

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."  

 

21.      My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT   .  

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."  

 

22.   My mother taught me GENETICS  .  

"You're just like your father."     

 

23.   My mother taught me about my ROOTS  .  

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"     

 

24.   My mother taught me WISDOM  .  

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."     

 

And my favourite:  

25.   My mother taught me about JUSTICE  .  

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"  

 

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!  

 



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#2 bitzee

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 03:37 PM

Priceless!  Thanks for the laugh.



#3 teecee

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 03:56 PM

I laughed all the way through them. TFS!

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:



#4 MariJ

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 04:26 PM

Funny Andrea - thanks for posting.   :)


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#5 Sara Arell

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 06:51 PM

LOL  I thought my mother was talking to me as I read these, Andrea!  Such familiar words!


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#6 LaLo1103

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Posted 10 March 2014 - 07:20 PM

Very cute!


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#7 Belle

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Posted 11 March 2014 - 12:34 AM

I think I've become my Mother.

She especially liked no 7. :rolleyes:


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#8 jhbren

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Posted 12 March 2014 - 03:33 PM

These are funny, Andrea.  My mother taught me #15, but her version was, "Just think about all the starving people in Armenia."  That may date both of us.  And # 25 - I here my words (which were my Mother's words) coming out of my children's mouths; DD2 says she HAS children just like her!  Thanks for the chuckles.


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#9 Marie-Christine

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Posted 30 April 2014 - 04:10 PM

My belly is aching from laughing!

You knew my mum well! :giggle_bear:  :giggle_bear:  :giggle_bear:  :D  :rofl:

 


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#10 princessrunningfingers

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Posted 01 May 2014 - 11:21 AM

Thanks for the laughs.  I love all of them.


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