lorac Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 Just thought you ladies would find these 'Oldies but goodies' funny. I love the last one. The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.” I whispered back, “Bring wine” —————————— Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.—————————— It’s weird being the same age as old people. —————————— When I was a kid, I wanted to be older… this is not what I expected. —————————— Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter either. —————————— It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult. —————————— Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. —————————— My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So, I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started. —————————— I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “Wow,” that many times in your first session, but here we are… —————————— I see people near my age mountain climbing; I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. —————————— We can all agree that in 2016 not a single person got the answer correct to, “And where do you see yourself 5 years from now?” —————————— I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. —————————— I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humour suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet. —————————— Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years. —————————— I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. —————————— I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do, it’s because I missed my exit.—————————— How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well, aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?” —————————— You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up. __________________ A balanced diet is dark chocolate in both hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belle Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 Sounds about right.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florida granny Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 Thanks for the laughs. I think my favorite is the one about being the same age as old people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestine Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 A few of those made me chuckle out loud - the dog came running..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
englishrose Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 Oh Carol these are so funny! A great way to start my day. Good to see you in the forum btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorac Posted August 25, 2021 Author Share Posted August 25, 2021 I also love the one about sitting on the floor and not being able to get up. That happened to me just last week when I got down on the floor as I wanted to look under my bed for one of my shoes. Took me about half-hour to get up. My cat 'Leo' just sat on my bed and stared at me. Big help he was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KTB Posted September 5, 2021 Share Posted September 5, 2021 On 8/25/2021 at 11:45 AM, lorac said: I also love the one about sitting on the floor and not being able to get up. That happened to me just last week when I got down on the floor as I wanted to look under my bed for one of my shoes. Took me about half-hour to get up. My cat 'Leo' just sat on my bed and stared at me. Big help he was. Been there, done that! LOL! Btw, train that kitty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alsoarty Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 Thanks for the chuckle. Sadly I think all (not the first one, I don’t make deals with the devil) apply to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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