I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!
Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -
And, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
And remember:Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Save the Earth...It's the only planet with chocolate .