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Imagineer

Member Since 06 Apr 2013
Offline Last Active Jun 07 2013 12:56 AM

Topics I've Started

Huge Outdated Wallpaper Books

22 May 2013 - 05:48 PM

Hi,

I'm brand new at this.

Surely some here use outdated wallpaper catalogs as scrapbooks.

My wallwpaper books are huge. The smallest is about 24" x 24" and 4" thick. The backs of each page are blank except for the names of each sample page. Some books are filled with textured paper, with 5"x3" samples overlapping one another like carpet samples. I can get dozens of these books at a time for free from a very expensive interior decorator's store. They are really impressive.

I'm a bit overwhelmed, but I'm thinking I'll get lots of colorful maps to cover the backs of the pages and put my poetry and snippets overlapping them. I know I can get maps if I write to various city tourist and local government agencies and departments. I can spend money on old atlases, but, does anyone know if I need something other than a laptop to download from google maps in color? Do I need to purchase an android phone or Kindle?

And I have plenty of magazines with pages that I don't care about one way or another. Can I get entire magazine pages that are highly waxed, like National Geographic, to stick forever? Glue isn't likley to sink in to the paper. Should I use corners cut from envelopes to hold them in place?

Anyway, I'd love to read about peoples' experiences with such massive books. Crumpled tissue paper wouldn't be too cosly. Will it stick to the backs of the pages, perhaps needing multiple coats of thin glue? I have very few photographs. My family just didn't bother and I don't live near any of them now.

Are there some good examples of timelines that stretch from page to page about ancestors and what they lived through in history... such as, my great, great, great grandmother was a ..(example) sole survivor of the civil war and lost a son in 1961 from this cause at this battle, and another son at this battle in 1863 of this cause in this place...and this son was lost in Viet Nam in 1968...All along a timeline of events. Any examples?

Thanks much,
Leslie

What Is Something Funny You Would Never Do?

22 May 2013 - 12:51 AM

What I would never do. Example:

I would never glue all the pages of my scrapbook together.




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College Application

06 April 2013 - 09:02 PM

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The author, Hugh Gallagher, now attends NYU.
Essay: In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.


This student was admitted

The most memorably visual entry for me is "full contact oragami"

Kid's History Papers

06 April 2013 - 08:58 PM

Please forgive me if this is just one more post of the same.



The following quotes were accounts of history written by kids in their essays. What grade do you think they earned for writing statements like these? Oh, weeping for the future of humanity…

“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.”

“Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.”

“Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.”

“Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: ‘Tee hee, Brutus.’”



“Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.”

“Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.”

“In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.”

“Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.”

“It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.”

“The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.”

“Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.”

“During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.”

“Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.”

“One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”

“Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.”

“Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. His mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.”

“Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.”

“Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.”

“Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.”

“The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.”

“The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.”

“Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.”

“The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.”

“Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a natureist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.”

“The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in human history.”

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My favorite is that Queen Victoria sat on a thorn for 63 years. Was it bad spelling or was it like The Princess and the Pea?

[Source: unknown]

Really, Very Brand New

06 April 2013 - 08:47 PM

Hi y'all.

I'm Leslie, from Utopia (The Pacific Northwest)
Can anyone point me in the right direction to find those that have wallpaper books they keep intact and use as scrapbooks? I have all sorts and I don't want to waste them doing a bad job. They are huge and I dont know where to start. My goodness but they can be classy. Some come from posh businesses that would never carry anything but the very best so they are intimidating.

And warmest regards to all!